10 Brilliant Revenge Ideas for Parking Idiots
It makes my blood boil when I see a bad case of parking. It's like, 'screw you, I'm the most important person in the world, I care only about myself, and you should deal with it'.
I hate these people! And I'm sure you do too. So here are, in no particular order, 10 creative ways to exact a revenge on these idiots.
Turn it into a dump
Each person makes an average of 4.6 pounds of trash per year, so at almost every corner there is bound to be a trash-can full of juicy, rotting, dirty crap. Take that can and empty it on the asshole's car. If you do a good enough job, it will look like someone threw away their car into a dump so it's OK for everyone to keep throwing their trash on the pile.
Interlock it with shopping carts
Yeah, people would often put the shopping carts around your car, but that's not going to hurt the idiots, they can just push them away. A better idea is to interlock them around the car. Almost every cart these days has that locking mechanism where you need to put the coin inside, so make the idiot pay for it.
Shrink Wrap it
This thing is cheap, surprisingly tough to cut through and very sticky. It takes some time to get it of, and the more you force it, the worse it gets. Plus 10 points if you can wrap something else with it as well.
Just walk over it
Be it the pedestrian crossing or just the walkway, it's not a place to put your car, people are walking there. Serves you right if you find some shoe prints all over your car.
Tow it Away yourself
This one requires a proper vehicle for the job, and I don't mean a tow truck. Good off-roader with a winch will do just fine. So hook the asshole, and tow him away.
Block the Exit
My favorite passive-aggressive way of dealing with idiots is to make them wait. The longer the better. See someone parked like an asshole, or god forbid in front of your garage, just block his exit, take a photo and take a nap. What's he going to do? Damage your car? You have his plates in a photo and a whole car as a hostage.
Block the entrance
If you park so close to the idiot's car that he can't open the doors once he comes back, that's a win. He will either have to wait for as long as you want, crawl through the trunk (if possible) or deny you your sweet revenge if the car has that driverless summon option. But what are the chances of that?
Zip-Tie it to something
Ever tried to undo the zip-tie? It's impossible. The plastic is to hard and rigid, it will NOT budge. The only way to get it off is the cut through it, but how many of us have sharp objects in-around the car?
Leave a message
Just let them know. Think about it, you have the chance to explain to someone how stupid he is. I love doing that!
Things like: 'Galactic civilizations were looking for signs of intelligence, saw your parking and moved on.'
'I can park the Titanic better'
And my personal fav: 'Don't reproduce'
Do you have some great messages? Let me know in the comments.
Cut the sticking piece of
Now, this is really extreme, so it's no wonder it happened in Russia. TopCars top tip: Don't mess with the Russians when it comes to traffic in general.
And let me be clear here, I'm all against damaging the car. It's not the car's fault, it's the idiot's fault, but I can't help it from feeling a little warm inside when the revenge is served, even if it was too harsh.
Have you ever done anything like it? Have you wished to do it? Let me know in the comments.