10 reasons why women love Clarkson...and how to pull OFF the charm yourself.
The Cult of Clarkson is a phenomenon that transcends the barriers of age, class and culture. But to be honest, there's a little more to it for us...
Love him or loathe him, Jeremy Clarkson has what many would term the 'Je ne sais quoi'. But fear not, we are here to take the mystery out of his attraction, and explain how you can adopt some of his charm.
10: The Jeans
We love a guy who wears jeans. Cargo shorts were on-trend in the early 2000s, but jeans say a man isn't trying too hard, and also doesn't shave his legs. This is an easy one to copy!
9: His British accent and humour
Ok this is one that Hammond and May can claim also, but there's just something charming about the quiet pessimism that is British humour. Or perhaps it reminds us more of our fathers' generation. Either way, this is again something you can employ; avoid loud displays of your presence, and favour quiet wit. As Jane Austen would say,: "let the other young ladies have time to exhibit". Less is more.
8. He knows about cars (or seems to)
This is a must. A man who can take charge and fix a vehicle (or definitively call someone who can) makes us feel secure, because we will break our cars a lot. Actually he doesn't need to fix them - simply remembering our car is due for a service and arranging it will suffice.
7. He likes women, but isn't arrogant with it
Believe it or not, we find it flattering when men show an interest in our species. The key is acting humble enough to treat us as an unattainable object of desire. Too much confidence in yourself is a massive turn-off. Clarkson clearly likes the female form, but will often follow it with a joke about why he (or his mates) won't get them. We just want to give him a big hug. And a puppy.
6. He can fight
Moralising aside, nobody watches a Vin Diesel movie and says "If only he had used his words". Jeremy isn't afraid to get physical, and whether we like to admit it or not, it just sort of...works for us.
5. He has beautiful eyes
No explanation required, leave his eyes where they are.
4. He has a decent command of French
This is no mean feat, as the British naturally seem to struggle with a French accent. The likely product of traditional schooling, Jeremy's French is imperfect but certainly existent in sufficient quantities as to make him understood in different situations. Being able to speak the language of love is a surefire way to melt a woman's heart. Enroll in a course today!
3. He is a brilliant journalist
Anyone who has taken the time to read any of Jeremy's books or columns will understand exactly how clever this man is. Televised wit is one thing, but his ability to melodically compose an article with a delicate balance between observation and satire renders him irresistible to our intellectual side. There IS a formula...but we don't kiss and tell!
2. He says it like it is, and is hilarious to boot!
Women get emotionally tired easily, and Jeremy's brutal deconstruction of the world around him is just what we need when we're feeling low. We don't want to be told to see the other person's point of view; we want a simplified, self-centred attack strategy. If we end up in stitches at some of the suggestions, all the better - laughter is our weakness. And chocolate.
1. He's a deep thinker, and not at all as thick-skinned as people assume
It is always surprising to hear people sound-off about a statement of Jeremy's, because they clearly seem to think that he means it. Fear not, for we the experts are here to tell you that he is the quintessential nice guy. For starters, he is too well-educated to believe half of what he says. Celebrity interviews were always very telling - take an ill-behaved celebrity and rather than match their audacity, Jeremy would without fail become the quieter and more reserved of the two (read: gentleman). Finally, pay more attention to his eyes. Moments like spotting the crosses on the Camino de la Muerte in Bolivia show a real softness in those beautiful pools of wisdom as the gravity of the situation sinks in. Only once you put the pieces of the puzzle together do you realise his true brilliance, for the people who are upset at him are upset with a fictitious person - and then we can all laugh at them together - one of our favourite pastimes. Oh...and he likes nature.
If you are still mystified as to the magnetism of this man, and why is he is my not-so-secret crush....allow me to blow your mind with this:
He works his guts out yet finds time to be an amazing dad.