10 Redneck Things that Clarkson, Hammond, and May Have Done
When I say 'redneck', what do you initially think of? You think of stupid, pasty white Americans with southern accents, buck teeth, mullets, holding guns, inside their lifted trucks, saying "hold my beer and watch this shit." While these people do exist, the majority of rednecks in the world are just simple blue collar, unsophisticated people. There are rednecks all over the world of all colors too. Thanks to Hollywood, TV shows and movies like The Duke of Hazard and Deliverance perpetuated the aforementioned description above all over the world. First off, there is a difference between hillbillies, white trash, and redneck. Hillbillies are best described as folks very removed from society. They don't know about anything except that which mainly goes on in their world. The Stock Market could crash and it wouldn't affect them. The term white trash came to be in the south around the late 1800's to describe whites who had sympathies towards African Americans. It basically said that they are on the same level as black people: it was a racial slur. Rednecks, a group which I am a part of, are "individuals with a gross lack of sophistication"-Jeff Foxworthy. Basically, rednecks, are your blue-collar based folks who really don't care about social norms. They live amongst everyone else but also are removed. meaning they don't do things normal. Their favorite tools in the shop consists of duct tape and WD40. They use simple but uncommon ways to solve problems. They make do with what they have. They are found all over the world and are all the colors of the rainbow. The first two groups however mainly reside in the US. Yes, there is some crossover with the groups, but they mainly stay within their groups.
So, with that out of the way, here are 10 redneck things the trio has ever done. By the way, be prepared for some redneck words in this here article. I make fun of rednecks because I are one and its easy.
10. Make their own limos
This is straight out of the redneck handbook. I can’t tell you how many times rednecks break out the welder to do this. Just look at this photo
This was not photo shopped. You can see the weld burns on the Suburban. Some individual said “I want a limo, but can’t afford one. I know, I’ll make one myself," and this was the product. This just screams redneck. Hammond even made a convertible one, which leads me to my next point.
9. Convertible Van
Ya'll remember that one episode they decided to make a minivan into a convertible. Converting any car to a convertible that just wasn't meant for it is redneck. Like I said before, with a redneck most things can be done with WD40, Duct tape, a welder, or a grinder. Their convertible may have been more glamorous than other jobs, but it still is redneck, and if you beg to differ, just say it out loud with a southern accent.
8. Jag engine in a Transit.
OK, this may be stretching it a little, but remember when the Aussies came on the show and Hammond drag raced one of them in a transit with an engine from a XJ220? Swapping other engines into cars may not be redneck, but its the adding of a twin turbo 3.5 L V6 engine is. It's the putting an engine of a car, which in the 90's was considered a supercar, that makes it redneck. It would be the equivalent of swapping a Bugatti Chiron engine into a Honda Odessy; downright ridiculous and redneck.
7. Build their own motor homes.
When you consider a typical redneck activity or project, this is typically not what comes to mind at first. But, when you take a think about it, it will actually occur to you. Rednecks are notorious in the US for living in something called trailer parks. For "all y'all feriners" who have no "ideer" what I'm talking about, that's basically this:
These are mobile homes that folks have taken the wheels off of and dropped in the ground. Now they are still mobile. You can reattach the wheels and drive off again to the next park when you get evicted for violating the community conduct rule of "don't drink your neighbor's moonshine without his permission" Many are self built like the boy's were and depending on the state, some of them are cars that have constructed for this purpose. Maybe it is redneck, maybe it isn't, or maybe I'm just a crazy ol' redneck who sees things.
6. Doughnuts......in Italy....in a Challenger
Ok, doing doughnuts is not redneck. I'll admit that. And it was Hammond who did it too. Besides that, imagine you are in a museum or restaurant in Italy. Everything's very cultured and all of a sudden some idiot in a red Dodge Challenger Hellcat screams "Hey ya'll watch this!" and proceeds to do doughnuts in the middle of the town square. Your first thought would be "Who let that redneck over here? Quit playing 'Sweet Home Alabama' and go home. You're disturbing the peace." It's plainly obvious that its "the fat man in Kentucky" in that car just doing it because he can and he thinks he's cool. To quote Jeremy Clarkson from that episode "This is not a particularly cultural thing to do." Exactly, Jeremy, it's not, its very redneck.
5. Using the Marauder to go through the drive through and shopping
Using this to go shopping is like using this:
For readers who don't know what that is, that is a M35 series. These were used in 'Nam to The Gulf War. After the military stopped using them, they sold them to civilians. And they bought them. While, they are not a common vehicle on the road, people still use them for daily transport. The Deuce and a Half (yes that's what people call them) is like a less armored and yuppie version of the Marauder and a very redneck daily driver.
4. Making James May go off roading in Wales
This type of off-roading is something called mudding. Mudding is simply going out, getting mud all over your 4x4 getting stuck and then winching yourself out. Whether its for a competition or for the hell of it, its fun and redneck. We like, we love it, we want some more of it. Mudding is classic redneck. Simply go out and see who can get the most dirty without getting stuck. "You didn't bring any straps "witcha-didcha" cause my rig got stuck inda mud?"
3. Eat roadkill
This is just self explanatory. My best friend hit a deer with his car (totaling it). Within three minutes of hitting it, he had two guys drive by in an old ford truck and ask if he was going to keep it. My best friend drove a Mercedes C class. He is as persnickety, slow, and overly clean as James May is. He is nowhere near redneck. He was just floored that people actually do this. Getting back on track here, Jeff Foxworthy once said "If you think fast food is hitting a deer at 60 mph, you might be a redneck" Point made.
2. The Excellent
Look at the Excellent. It's essentially one of the most redneck vehicles ever. It's an attempt to sophisticate a rugged vehicle. Rednecks try to do this all the time. They will try to look sophisticated with things they do, and it will be plainly obvious that they are and will, to no effect, work. The Excellent is a perfect illustration of this dilemma. It didn't work out for Jeremy, but every redneck in the world who watched that video said "I'd like to have that there Mercedes, cause I bleeve he got somethin real great there."
1. Amphibious cars
Wanna know how many times rednecks want a boat, can't afford one and turn to the next thing they see to make into a boat....All. The. Time. Well, maybe not all the time, but it happens more often than you think. Me and some friends did once with an old table we found in a barn and took it out on a pond-it flipped-but that's besides the point. Look at these photos:
Those two are just less sophisticated versions of Jeremy's Toybota and Richard's Housevan:
In all honesty though. If I said to you, I made a boat out of my car, you would think "What a redneck thing to do," but if the boys do it, its not the first thing that pops into your mind.
I'm guessing ya'll think I'm nuts about this stuff as most people do on DriveTribe. Maybe I am, maybe I'm not, or maybe I'm just a crazy ol' redneck who sees stuff. Maybe the trio will read this and call me out on it, although I highly doubt that would happen (but it would be awesome). Anyways, these are my takes on ten things that the trio has done. Let me know what all ya'll think. Ya'll drive fast and take chances, Ok? Crank it up, I'm gone.