5 things your car would tell you, if it could talk

be grateful that cars can't talk...

2y ago

The car industry is changing. One of the main reasons behind these changes can be attributed to technology, from assembly line and manufacturing automation to assisting with road safety, technology has integrated seamlessly into car industry and we all feel better for it.

The end result is a simple one, each of us as a consumer will buy a car of our choice depending on our budget and circumstances, and then pretty much ruin it. We litter our cars with junk, unpleasant smells, children and their messy snacks and once in a while, we remember that we need to look after it.

Here are 5 things most cars would likely say to us if they could speak their mind freely.

5 - You call that parallel parking?

Yes, not really a surprise here. This is embarrassing, and I must add, it seems to be epidemic. We have all seen drivers moving back and forth, over and over again, trying to park their car into a space big enough for 2 cars. If you are the driver, you wont notice the look other road users give you, however as a passenger sitting next to one of these drivers, its degrading and shameful. The solution is a simple one, practice over and over again, please. Here is a helping hand, for those less apt at parallel parking.

4 - I need a bath, please wash me!!!

Wash me !!!

Wash me !!!

it is amazing how long people will go before taking their vehicle through a car wash, and drive around town, with cute signs written by some comedian like “wash me” on the outside of their car with their fingers. Take the hint buddy, its a car, it sits outside with all manor of rubbish dropped at it. Clean it.

3 - I didn't request this song, why should I listen to it?

We are all guilty here. We all have been in a situation when our favourite song has come up, and we have turned the volume up to idiotic level, so we can share our music taste with every other road user. There is no shame in that, however if your car could talk, it would no doubt say it is deaf already and to turn down the volume.

2 - Give me a minute to wake up?

Most of us are not morning people, but we believe our cars are. Hands up, how many of us simply just get in to our cars and simply turn the key in the ignition and then slam the car into gear? I have done this, on few occasions to be perfectly honest. Few expert I have spoken to about this issue have informed me that, in the long run it ruins the car engine. But when have we ever listened to a mechanic and their good advice? Taking some time to let the car warm up properly isn’t too much to ask, is it?

1 - He who smelt it dealt it

I like the smell of a new car in the morning, but we are all fully aware, it won't last forever. Yes, I am talking about our disgusting habits we pick up along the road as we grow up to become a useful member of society. if our cars could indeed talk, they would tell us to cork it, and I damn wish they would.

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Comments (65)

  • "pleas don't let the wife drive"

      2 years ago
  • Mine would say "stop waxing me every weekend" 😂

      2 years ago
  • Well. One day I hope to driving along in my Ferrari 612, turn up Bocelli, and have the car's soul sing with me.

      2 years ago
  • "Stop hitting my dash because I won't let go of your key" (the locks cylinder is a bit wack) Angela I'm sorry, but you need to get over this separation anxiety. Also I wrote a book where cars could take on human forms and could speak in their car form through the radio, control their vehicle body, etc. It's all fun and games until you realize it can get a bit sexual.

      2 years ago
  • Where I live, it can get as cold as -30 degrees Fahrenheit. Before I leave for school or work I like to let me car warm up for at least 10 mins before leaving. In the warmer months I give it at least a good minute to idle. I figure not only will it be warmer in the car for me but the oil and coolant can get up to temp before being put under load.

      2 years ago
    • I wish i lived in colder climates. I have a fetish for cold starts, and because of that, I am forever grateful to the youtubers that upload that shit.

        2 years ago
    • Few secrets are coming out mate, cold starts are really not that good.

        2 years ago