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7 cringy Christmas gifts to get a petrolhead - or not

28w ago

43.3K

Ah, Christmas gifts. Most of the time, they are something you can use and you get that rare one that is actually good – if you're very lucky. Then you get 'those' ones, from relatives who don't really know you, or that Grandparent who is really out of touch. "Oh, so you like cars?"

Yes, Nan... but I don't want a keyring!

Here are seven motoring related gifts you really don't want this Christmas. The cringe factor is strong with these ones... Not as cringy as me in a Santa hat though....

1. The BaByliss Pro Volare V1 Ferrari hairdryer...

Yes, this is a thing. In a way, it's not a bad gift but has a certain h'air to it... The engine motor was created with the help of engineers from Ferrari, no really. They really try to sell this to you with a nano titanium infused grille and a 'lock-in' turbo boost to dry your hair faster at 80mph. For £122, I think I will pass on this. It's just a tad lame and over the top!

2. Bentley engine cufflinks...

As much as you love Bentleys or if you are lucky - love your own - you are going to be the last person on earth that will want these. Bentley is a byword for sophistication and elegance, which these cufflinks don't really scream. Just by adding the word 'Bentley', you are adding a lot of faux-toffery that really, really isn't wanted. Just keep the brand away and just make them out of any recycled engine, then they are cool... but not for £145!

3. Wrench cutlery set...

It's really sad! It's a set for one! If you get this, be worried if it's from your wife... she may be handing it over with divorce papers in the card. On a basic level, this is a fine gift – if you are a five-year-old child. Even if you were single and were given this gift, I would be concerned that my family would think I wash up that quickly - only needing one of everything... Not really useful, unless that is a 10cm ring spanner!? All yours for £24.99... if you want them.

4. Jaguar eau de toilette...

Oh, the cringe really hurts right now! It's making me want to be sick how terrible this next one is. Please, don't make me write about this, I love Jaguar and they are normally a name for class and luxury, so when I see a £28 bottle of fake masculinity, it makes me so sad. The last thing I would buy my man is this when the description describes that " the dynamic scent emanates power, confidence and charisma."... Gag...

5. Mercedes-Benz nail varnish duo...

And if you have that lovely lady in your life, please don't get this for her! It's even worse than the terrible colours they give you, is the names for them - Petronas green and arrow silver. It's this idea of putting a brand name on a normal, everyday item, somehow makes it amazing is not cool. It's so cringy, my fingers hurt. £22.50 of hurt...

6. Audi golf balls...

Oh balls! Golf is one of the most hated pairings with cars on the planet. Most petrolheads will hate car designers for making a boot/trunk on a sports car just big enough for a full set of golf clubs. So, you can imagine seeing these online for £8.50 and just go "Hell naw!", even if you like golf - you know it's a sin to match your favourite car brand with your passion for a sport. I just hope no one will make a carbon-fibre recurve bow with Porsche on it... You can't ruin Porsche...

7. Porsche 911 bluetooth speaker...

Oh, I spoke too soon. £495 of too soon! What! This Bluetooth speaker is designed to look like the twin exhaust of a Porsche 911 GT3 and it's not a cheaply made piece of plastic crap either - made with aluminium and the newest audio technology. I love good, portable music solutions and I love cars but this is still one step too far. Even a music artist with a 911, wouldn't use this. I will stick with my Aeroskull...

So, there you have it, 7 cringy gifts you shouldn't give or want to get for Christmas... Or any time of the year in fact. Yea, just no, not all at!

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