9 Family cars you don't have to be ashamed of
It seems like only last year that you were young and carefree. You weren’t tied down to anything or anyone and could spend frivolously on random things that take your fancy.
Your whole life was ahead of you and you were saving up for that special car, maybe a Ford Capri or a Subaru Impreza. Yeah, that would be swell.
However, life happened a lot quicker than you thought it would, and that idea of your dream car sitting in your garage has slipped away and been replaced by a mortgage and saving up to send your ungrateful children to a University that isn’t Swansea.
I’m here to tell you it’s all going to be ok. You can have your new life with dinner parties that end at 9.30pm and making sure the Christmas card list is up to date, but you can still have that special car in your garage.
Basically, what I’m saying is you don’t need to settle for a fucking Vauxhall Mokka X.
When people ask you what you’re driving these days, you no longer have to explain that the Nissan Qashqai is actually really roomy and the kids love it.
No-one cares that you got a really good finance deal on a new Volkswagen Touran, Steve, you dick.
Instead, you can tell them that you have one of the cars on this list and you’re proud of your family vehicle.
So, here are nine family cars you can bring up in conversation:
1) VW Passat VR6 estate
I'm going slightly weak at the knees already.
The best thing about this car is that you get to see people's reaction when you slide the 'VR6' in at the end.
They are lulled into a false sense of security after the 'VW Passat' is expelled from your mouth, but then you hit them, after a satisfying pause, with the V...R...6.
2) Subaru Impreza WRX estate
You can take the kids to schools whilst feeling like you are Colin McRae in your very own family rally car. A "Ramily" car if you will.
3) Subaru FOrester STi
You've basically gone and bought yourself a higher 'ramily' car so you can, literally, look down on people who don't have a 'ramily' car. If I say 'ramily' enough times, I'm hoping it will be a thing.
4) Audi RS6 avant
Enough space for the kids and bags? Check
Enough comfort for the other half to relax on long journeys? Check
Enough power to reverse the earth's rotation? Check
5) Skoda Octavia vRS estate
A Skoda? A bloody Skoda? I can already see the ranting comments, but you are so wrong. Just have a go in the Octavia vRS estate and reassess your rant.
6) Volvo V60 Polestar
Now you have the chance to channel your inner Rickard Rydell in a Volvo estate. This has the essence and energy of that title-winning Volvo 850 T5 estate that shook the school run mundanity to its core. TO ITS CORE GODDAMN YOU.
7) Mercedes E63 estate
This E63 estate proudly states 'Junge Sterne' on the number plate. My German is a little rusty, but I think the loose translation into English is 'take your Peugeot 3008 and piss off.' Can someone confirm?
8) BMW E34 M5 Touring
I could have gone for a more modern BMW touring, but there is just something about the E34 touring that gets me every time. It is up there with my favourite car designs, and it looks so simple. It has a 3.8 litre engine to make pulling away from dropping the kids off at school more dramatic.
9) Alfa Romeo 156 GTA Sportwagon
Last and by no means least, the Alfa Romeo 156 GTA Sportwagon is powered by a 250 bhp 3.2 litre V6 engine. You'll never be reffered to as boring if you pull up in any Alfa Romeo, let alone a Sportwagon GTA.
For those of you that don't think this is a safe enough car for your family, just look at the image below...
It says it right there on the door and bonnet *drops mic*
Are there any family cars that you don't consider boring? Let me know in the comments.