A brief roast of cars I don't like
From the author who tries to love everything, there are still some cars that even I can't stand.
(Disclosure: 𝘛𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘱𝘪𝘦𝘤𝘦 𝘸𝘢𝘴 𝘸𝘳𝘪𝘵𝘵𝘦𝘯 𝘵𝘰 𝘤𝘰𝘮𝘱𝘭𝘦𝘮𝘦𝘯𝘵 𝘢 𝘴𝘪𝘮𝘪𝘭𝘢𝘳 𝘢𝘳𝘵𝘪𝘤𝘭𝘦 𝘣𝘺 𝘧𝘳𝘪𝘦𝘯𝘥 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘧𝘦𝘭𝘭𝘰𝘸 𝘤𝘰𝘯𝘵𝘳𝘪𝘣𝘶𝘵𝘰𝘳, 𝘌𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘯 𝘋𝘦𝘨𝘨𝘦, 𝘸𝘩𝘰𝘮 𝘐 𝘭𝘰𝘷𝘦 𝘨𝘰𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘣𝘢𝘤𝘬 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘧𝘰𝘳𝘵𝘩 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘰𝘯 𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘸𝘪𝘭𝘥𝘭𝘺 𝘷𝘢𝘳𝘺𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘰𝘱𝘪𝘯𝘪𝘰𝘯𝘴 𝘰𝘯 𝘤𝘢𝘳𝘴 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘤𝘢𝘳 𝘤𝘶𝘭𝘵𝘶𝘳𝘦. 𝘛𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘱𝘪𝘦𝘤𝘦 𝘪𝘴 𝘮𝘦𝘢𝘯𝘵 𝘵𝘰 𝘣𝘦 𝘵𝘢𝘬𝘦𝘯 𝘭𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵𝘭𝘺... 𝘐 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘬.)
You might be offended or angered but remember this is a dictatorship not a democracy.
Those heinous coupe utility vehicles
"WHY CAN'T YOU JUST BE NORMAL?"
Just look at 'em. Wouldn't it be wiser to pocket the premium you'd pay for these and get their normal-looking counterparts like a person with taste? You'd end up with more usable cargo space, rear headroom, and essentially identical driving dynamics. However, for some convoluted reason, people think these are somehow stylish and continue to incentivize companies into building more of these knock-off Azteks.
Hatchbacks masquerading as compact SUVs
Okay, so this genre isn't so bad. It's not that the compact crossover legion is full of crap as most are actually quite lovely to drive and have great success in carrying out their intentions. I'm more so disappointed that they're pretending to be something they're clearly not.
These are hatchbacks through and through. Drop a GLA on its nuts, peel the black-clad disguise right off its fenders, and what do you have left? A marginally larger A-Class. Some offerings are even exclusively front-wheel drive, a big fail when putting on the façade of something more utilitarian. Lies! Deception!
Subaru WRX, too damn restrained
Reliability horror stories aside, I love the Subaru WRX STI. That being said, I care not for the vanilla WRX or at least not for the current-generation, FA-powered cars. Perhaps I would've enjoyed the examples I drove a bit more if I had driven them on a twistier canyon road, or perhaps older models with EJ engines would've proven more characterful. From my experience, they felt like nothing more than quick Corollas. Dull and plain. Capable yet boring. Get an STI.
Chevrolet Blazer, a pretender to its name
The Blazer is a fine, sporty crossover sure to please any family choosing to add it to their fleet. It will forever live in the shadow of the mighty Ford Bronco whose off-road prowess, modern-retro design, and newly-started war with the Jeep Wrangler will surely ensure everyone forgets there's a new Blazer. Picture that. Imagine being so unremarkable, you get consigned to the history books while you're still on sale. Oof.
There it is. A short list of cars whose existence I lightheartedly disagree with. This piece was actually a tricky one to compose as I generally try to appreciate anything and everything, but sometimes you just have wake up and choose violence. What are some cars you find disagreeable and why? I'm prepared to take a shot for every anti-EV comment I see. One person's disdain is another person's excuse to day drink. Cheers!