A December to Remember? Bah Humbug!
Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house, not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse.
Some people think that the holiday season starts when they see the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade. Others say its when they see the department stores start selling their holiday goodies. For some it's when they first hear Mariah Carey's "All I Want For Christmas Is You", or perhaps when they see that Michael Buble has emerged from his 11-month slumber to serenade us with his wonderful voice. Then there's me. I might be in another room, or maybe I'm driving to work, and then I will hear them. The chimes, the loud generic holiday chimes of a particular series of commercials and then a voice trying to hypnotize me into buying a Lexus, during their "December to Remember" sales event.
BAH HUMBUG! $80,000 for a GX? They're out of their minds! Whose significant other spends that money on one gift, not mine! Decemeber to Remember, what a horrible rhyme, but nothing is worse than those stupid bell chimes, all those chimes, chimes, chimes, chimes!
All the Lexuses (Lexi?) down in Lexusville with their chimes, and their bows. They're all just buying glorified Toyotas you know! So here's my plan and starts right here with you, go buy another car, like a good Subaru! Their big spindle grilles all chromed out and gaudy, and frolicking in the snow like they think they're an Audi. I hate Lexus so much that it drives me up a wall, and those chimes and the bows, oh the nerve of it all! It's not that I'm scrooge, I'm really trying my best, but is a person out there really over the moon for an RX?
So to close my remarks on this holiday season, don't buy a Lexus, no matter the reason! An IS, an ES, the big LS too, they all make me sick and force me to boo. There is one way however for Lexus to shine, and it is simply to go back in time. A time when a Lexus made me shout "Hooray!" so Lexus, please, bring back the LFA. The V10 coupe we all know and love, and the exhaust note sings to the heavens above! That's all we want Lexus, so please do it right. Happy Holidays to all and to all a good night!