A scientific examination regarding the use of rubber ducks as transport

A classic example of Australian transportation

Pictured above is a classical 1970's Ford Falcon, one of the most iconic vehicles in all of Australia, if not the world, it provided many people with power and utility they had never experienced before. No other vehicle in the world has been designed to handle Australian geography so perfectly. It was the epitome of Australian engineering.

However, if this car is so famous, so useful, why are there very few still driving on the roads today? What happened to the iconic legend of Australian motoring? Well you see... Time had passed, and with the passing of time came rust and decay, the Falcons slowly withered away to nothing but steel husks, a shell of the former glory they once held.

The corpse of a ford falcon

We can quite clearly see from the image above that not even the mighty Ford Falcon, designed to survive Australia, one of the harshest places on earth could survive forever. But it was observing this trait that lead me to an amazing discovery.

A rubber duck from 1977

As you might have spotted from the caption to the above photograph, this duck is from 1977, and it looks brand new! How incredibly shocking, by mere coincidence I had discovered something that shouldn't be possible.

Immortality.

You can clearly see the rubber duck has not aged at all in ~40 years, compare this to the dead husk of the ford falcon and you can see something incredible. I understand I will probably get a noble prize for discovering immortality but we have more pressing concerns. Sure the duck is immortal, but in what other ways does the Duck surpass motor-vehicles?

Well let me list some incredible statistics out for you:

Ducks do not require fuel, they can drive indefinitely for nothing, this violates the fundamental laws of physics as ducks seem to create energy from nothing.

Ducks are comfier than cars, ducks are made out of rubber and are much nicer to sit in compared to a steel box, problem sleeping on long road trips? Not anymore!

Ducks are completely safe in Duck/Car crashes. Due to the squishy nature of the duck regardless of the speed you are travelling you will not even notice a crash, this would mean road safety would be so good you could have children on the middle of the freeway without worrying about them!

Ducks are much faster compared to cars, look at the photos of the ducks and you will notice something, they are INCREDIBLY Aerodynamic, look at how the air would slip past the ducks effortlessly, this means ducks can achieve a top speed of one billion mp/h (or km/h if you use a real measuring system)

So it seems pretty obvious doesn't it? I believe we should stop the production of cars all together and instead work on the VASTLY superior idea of Rubber Ducks for transport.

This article is under copy-right protection via MMU and legal action will be taken against any person caught violating or plagiarising these rights.

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Comments (2)
  • I think it has true potential if you put wheels on them !

    1 year ago
  • Excellent article, well thought out and presented, this is not a payed review, this is 100% my own thoughts I promise

    1 year ago

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