A Sheriff's Tale at The Horizon Festival.
A single day in the life of a fictional lawman, trying to keep order in a fictional world.
(The story you're about to read is [not] true. The names have [not] been changed to protect the innocent. [Since, I just made them up.])
"This is the County... Kind of a chunk of Edinburgh and Derwentwater and the Cotswolds all smooshed together. I carry a badge. My name's Sunday."
I was called up from my normal jurisdiction of Nottingham-shire to assist in the sheer amount of traffic violations and infractions taking place up north during the large, never-ending car festival taking place.
08:55 - I clocked in at HQ, and read through the notes and notices for the day. Tons of reports of reckless driving and worse, illegal street racing had taken over the sleepy little community. Local citizens have fled into their homes, and no one dares walk on the sidewalks anymore. As, what was once the protected walkway of pedestrians has just become another passing lane for the thousands of racers who have flocked to the area. Even local Disk Jockeys feel threatened and have taken to hiding under their desks while at work. Though, this festival is supposed to bring in lots of money and work for the area, the sheer amount of ecological, economical, and physical destruction seems to counter that thought. I picked up my patrol route for the day and headed out in my trusty 1992 Ford Crown Victoria Police Interceptor. I had it imported from the USA. (No offense to the Vauxhall Astra or Peugot 308, but it's hard to beat that big old American V8.)
09:14AM - Jaguar XE-S - Cited for speeding. (77 MPH in a 20 MPH zone.)
09:14AM - Not more than a few minutes after pulling out of the station, did a red Jaguar XE-S going flying past me. Over triple the speed limit, and on the wrong side of the road. Dumb Yanks. The subject pulled over with no issue, and a citation was issued. The driver resumed on their way.
09:45AM - I got a call, that there was a highly modified and incredibly not street-legal car, doing "burn outs and doughnuts" a few blocks away. I responded and easily located the perp, the vehicle appeared to be a highly modified 1965 Ford Mustang. (I later learned this vehicle is known as the "Hoonicorn V2".) The driver was still recklessly driving about. Knocking over waste bins and traffic signs as they barely held control of the overpowered machine. I attempted to get them to stop the vehicle, but the female driver replied quote, "LOL", and quickly fled the scene.
Unfortunately, the Crown Vic's 4.6L V8 was no match for the 6.7L Twin-Turbocharged V8 stuffed into a 1965 Mustang.
10:08AM - After a code 3 chase out of city limits and onto the A720, I was no match for the highly modified beast and had to call off pursuit. This was becoming a common problem the chaps and I were having, as the vast majority of cars on the road, were all vastly superior to our "standard fare" law enforcement vehicles. Even the motorcycle patrols on BMW R1200RTs can't keep pace with all of these 200+ MPH Supercars. Something must be done to even the playing field...
11:35AM - I return to the station, and submit my morning reports. The brass is just as frustrated as we are, in trying to deal with street racers in multi-million dollar hypercars. More get away than get cited, and the mayor is breathing down our necks. With our current fleet, we'd might as well chase them on foot, and get the same results. While I was eating my lunch, the Superintendent called me into her office. She handed me a file folder, which only contained an address.
12:11PM - I arrived at the address given. It appeared to be a small, private residence, with nothing more than a small home and an old garage on the property. I knocked on the front door of the residence, and a kindly older woman, who identified herself as the housekeeper, informed me that the person I wanted to speak with was in the "workshop". (They indicated this was the name of the detached garage.) Upon, approaching the garage I was suddenly alarmed when a loud roar shook the building and nearly caused me to lose my footing. I made haste for the garage and upon lifting the door, I saw the source of the noise.
2016 Lamborghini Aventador LP 750-4 SV "Special Police Interceptor" - Now this is more like it!
12:17PM - I was introduced to the "Special Police Interceptor." They had been working ever since the first Horizon tent was staked to develop a patrol car that can not only keep up, but out perform all but the most extreme cars. The prototype was a "seized" Lamborghini Aventador LP 750-4 SV, that had been reinforced with tighter suspension, LSD, racing tires, and it's engine had been tweaked so that 6.5L V12 was now spitting out over 1,000 BHP at the wheels. I signed the documents and took possession of the new cruiser. They mentioned something about wanting to see what they could do with my old trusty Vic. I told them to have at it, and left it in their possession.
12:50PM - After about a 30 minute instructional tour and test drive of the vehicle, I felt comfortable enough to resume my patrol. I headed out, back towards the A720.
This Audi R8 learned real quick, that there's no running from the new "Sheriff In Town".
01:08PM - It wasn't long before a canary yellow Audi R8 zipped by, apparently using the speed trap cameras as some form of scoring system for his driving. I quickly engaged pursuit. He fled from the Bypass, and headed towards the coast. The Lambo didn't even break a sweat, and while he was running at full tilt, I was leisurely keeping pace behind him. He realized quickly his attempt at fleeing was futile, and pulled over in front of Bamburgh castle, where he was issued a citation.
01:44PM - Snow began to fall and accumulate upon the road, however the Lambo continued to behave very well, and hugged that asphalt like a long lost grandmama. I pulled over two more speeders, and then got a call regarding a Hit And Run.
The Aftermath of a violent Hit & Run. Perpetrator is still at large.
02:01PM - I arrived at the scene. According to witnesses as well as the victim, a "snow white Porsche" flew through the roundabout at incredible speed, and cut through the middle, in an attempt to not slow down and avoid it entirely. However, a driver in a Mercedes-Benz A200 Turbo, was struck and spun out of control, and into the center of the roundabout. The driver was shaken but uninjured. An APB was put out for the suspect.
02:22PM - I resumed my patrols and did a few more routine stops for moving violations.
A Bugatti got caught in a compromising position. Reckless Driving Citation issued.
Obstructed License Plate. Citation served.
Found a Porsche 911 RS2, but not the White one I'm looking for.
03:19PM - Pulled over a Ferrari FXX in a camo wrap. Since poor taste isn't a crime, I issued the driver a citation for speeding and failure to yield. The driver was quoted as saying, "Man, why you gotta hassle me? Why don't you go after that douche-nozzle in the white Porsche who cut me off earlier?" I asked the driver for more information, and he told me where the indecent had taken place. I decided to investigate, before returning to HQ for the day.
"Man, why you gotta hassle me?" - Driver of Ugly Ferrari.
03:55PM - Bingo...
TO BE CONTINUED...
Part 2 : Coming Soon!