Are homosexuals represented in our anti-queer nation by the motoring big-wigs?
I am SERIOUSLY trying to take a wise guess
Come 21st century, most countries legalized homosexuality and same-sex marriage. That includes conservative England, fat America and happy Canada, except for India, well for obvious reasons. The major religious parties or groups didn’t want it to infiltrate our society and destroy it. But I won’t continue on this topic anymore because I fear my life would end come tomorrow morning. But if gay marriage were to be legal, which it was a few months back, it raises an alarming question. What would gay people drive?
Now I have been told by quite a few people that it’s a sensitive issue and I shouldn’t comment on it but I gave it a go anyway. So there I was, out on a mission to find three good cars that would suit all the classes of the homosexual community. And my goodness was I staggered at the choices they had or in reality the choices I made for them actually. Anyway, I have narrowed it down to three major motor companies – Rolls-Royce, Hyundai and Audi. Now by this time you are probably thinking that I have gone completely bonkers but bear with my genius and comprehensive and quite absurd article.
There are all sorts of people living in the ‘modern’ India today for example; the filthy rich urbanites, the well-off townies and the middle class. And there are the poor but who cares, they can’t buy any sort of vehicle.
So off with the Rolls. The big and humongous Phantom. Now this car or more like a cathedral o wheels will attract the filthy rich homosexuals. Reasons? Well, to be honest, it’s a massive example of British engineering, so lots of room in the back. It’s simple to drive and gadgets are restricted. And it’s the most luxurious and the best example of having class.
Secondly, we have Audi. Now most people might not be able to afford a Rolls Royce phantom, and there steps in the Audi TT Quattro. What’s good about it you ask? Well, it is small, good for city traffic and long drives as well and at Rs.46 lacs, it's affordable for the well-off homosexual. The best part is, it also comes in pink.
And third and also the least is the Hyundai. Well, when it comes to Hyundai, buy anything you want if you’re a middle-class homosexual.
So there it is. The top three cars (well the whole company for one), for all the various classes of homosexuals residing in India. I have done a service for our not-so-great-when-it-comes-to-gay people nation.
Written by – Luit Azaan who is a thriving straight man.