Last night I took a drive, something I haven't done in a long time. No rhyme or reason. No destination. The only thing I managed to accomplish was picking dinner up on the way back home.
I say every time I drive the Lexus that it feels like the first time I drove the Lexus, meaning that I fall in love with it over again. Last night was different, however. Even though I was stuck in traffic for most of the time I was out and about, I felt connected to this car. It felt like an extension of myself. Every time I pushed the pedal, it felt like a weight was being lifted off my shoulders. I felt free.
I feel like humanity as a whole takes cars for granted. We use them on a day to day basis to get us where we need to go, but they're so much more than a mundane forged shuttle. They're a means of coping, a means of emotional release unlike any mechanism. They give you an ability to escape whatever's keeping you in the darkness. They can bring you to where you need to be.
Recently I've felt cold and lonely in life. A firm friend of mine for many years cut me off for good, and because of that, I've had doubts about every person I talk to. But last night, it all clicked. I am who I am, and if people don't want to accept me for that, then so be it. The Lexus helped with that because it made me realize we're so alike. She's a car built to strive for perfection, but she's still rough around the edges, and I see that as a reflection of my inner self. As the suspension creaked through a bellowing country road and Rivers Cuomo's tenor tones flew through the crackling 30 year old speakers, it all made sense. It all felt right.
It's been five years since I had a moment like this. It feels good to be back in the drivers' seat for once.