Best Christmas Tat Ever
Forget motoring-themed toiletries and luxury car cleaning kits, this is my essential festive nonsense for 2018
You know me. If it's car-themed bollocks, I'm there for it. I have pointed and laughed at, and photographed, endless automotive objets d'arse (see my earlier posts for some of the most hideous homewares in history), and I'm a sucker for car shaped Christmas tree baubles. In fact, I've already picked up a couple of new ones this year, including a beaded London taxi (to go with the yellow New York cab I bought last year). So yes, car themed bollocks are a thing I'm rather fond of.
Another thing I'm very fond of is the Ford Mustang, in its various incarnations. Unlike terrible Christmas tat and other awfulness, I cannot afford a Mustang. However, I do have a handbag from Kim White handbags made from upholstery fabric used in the 1978 model (deadstock fabric, not recycled fabric that formerly had someone's bottom on it). It's a very nice bag, and here it is being modelled by my cat Bill...
Bill, getting his hair all over my favourite handba
But today, while I was looking for something else entirely, I found something that is the little bit in the middle of a Venn diagram of car tat, Christmas decorations, and the Ford Mustang, and my mind is just a little bit blown. I mean, just look at this slice of magnificence...
Oh What Fun It Is To Drive
This is apparently a table top tree. It's created by The Bradford Exchange and available on Amazon for just £139.94. It features a total of five model cars (including a very pretty 1968 Fastback, which makes the whole thing worthwhile, sort of), plus garlands and a star and all sorts of baubles.
But wait, there's more! It also features 20 LED lights, and as if that wasn't enough, it also features the sound of a revving Mustang engine! What could be more festive than the sound of a V8? You could name each of the cylinders after one of Santa's reindeer, if you were a bit of a nutter. A foot tall noisy resin tree centrepiece is exactly what every Christmas dinner table needs.
Especially mine. So if anyone has money to burn and would like to give me one of these ridiculous things for Christmas, I might just add it to my wishlist... ;)