BMW Just Bastardized the M3.
Yep! And guess what? It has the damn grille.
Not that long ago, when I was scrolling through Instagram (as most organisms with blood, and flesh, and minds do), I came across the spyshot in the photo above. It's the BMW M3 being tested at the Nürburgring, and to be honest, I think the boffins at BMW might have just bastardized it, especially in terms of design.
Don't get me wrong here - I don't hate the M3. It's a bloody icon for god's sake, so I'd better respect it. What started out as a humble touring car to beat team Mercedes at their own game led to a crazy long list of track weapons (M3 GTS, E46, and so on, to name a few) and sleepers (F80, E92 sedan, and the list of M3 sedans before that). Moreover, as much I'd hate to admit it, let's face it - this generation of three series is thrilling to drive (apparently), and is a technological marvel with all sorts of automatic parking and self - driving gimmicks.
The normal car it's based on obviously, is the three series, and if you look at it, both the M340i and the 330i are pretty handsome. The 4 with its gaping mouth is a design failure for me, especially because it's an amalgamation of the BMW 8 series, and some short, stubby, Karen with her stupid mouth wide open because some latino child accidentally touched her.
Given the fact that the M3 is supposed to be a sleeper with the discreet body of your average Joe's three series and the heart and internals of nothing less than a baby rocketship on steroids, I think the M3 has lost its "sleeper quotient" - basically how much of a sleeper car it is. With its huge, gaping, Karen - like face, it screams for attention. It wants everyone to know how fast it is, and that you've made it in life. I know that, because there's another car that does this, and it's called the Alfa Romeo Giulia Quadrifoglio. But then here's the thing - the Alfa is designed to be a drunk, confident, flamboyant, Italian pantomime who does not mind if you wring his neck on a track. The M3, on the other hand, is supposed to be this sober, over - thought, and over -engineered German bloke who will take your breath away the moment you realize what he's achieved (like Einstein, for instance), and that's when the fun begins.
Look at it! It's way too aggressive for an M3.
Yes, the M3 should be sporty. And yes, the M3 should be aggressive. But now it's too much. Sure, I can understand if it's an M3 GTS or whatever evolution track model M3 exists, because the aggressiveness quota there is absolutely legitimate, and makes perfect sense. The stupid grille aside, this car also probably has a ton of fake vents, the engine's no longer naturally aspirated (yup! It's a hybrid), and there's probably an overload of technology that might even kill the traditional M3 driving experience (apparently).
Which begs the question - have BMW completely lost their mind and completely bastardized the new M3? I think so, especially with that stupid grille. But in the current, pandemic - struck, politically correct world that we live in, I'll just say this - you be the judge.