BREAKING: MAJOR CHANGES COMING IN 2019 F1 SEASON
As Lewis Hamilton lets the news that Lewis Hamilton has won his 5th World Driver’s Championship badge continue to sink in, F1 masterminds are already busy at work trying to dream up new ways in which the exciting motorsport can become more exciting/engaging/less predictable in 2019. Short of kidnapping Hamilton and holding him hostage somewhere within Chase Carey’s megatache (which would make more sense than Hollywood’s Will Smith gaffa-taping the Stevenage-born driver’s diamond earrings together prior to the season-culminating Abu Dhabi GP), one of the most popular early ideas is that of introducing welded diffs to all cars.
A staple of the drifting scene, welded diffs would certainly liven the action up a tad and offer an altogether different way of circumnavigating the revered likes of the Spa, Monaco and Silverstone circuits next year, if Liberty Media decided to adopt this shock concept.
However, there is method in this initially perceived madness, when understanding that any suggestions (be they ludicrous or just plain fucking ridiculous) need to underpin the inescapable fact that the sport needs to project a more level playing field going forward. And that no longer can it be seen to be a one car race, if Formula One Car genuinely wants to attract a wider audience. Which apparently it does, because let’s face it; have you ever sat through an entire darts match?
Dare to be DIFFerent….
And what better way to mix things up a little than to retro-fit all existing 2018 season F1 cars with a welded diff. Just imagine the larks and unpredictability, not to mention the racket. Remember, for the past couple of seasons many serial moaners have been moaning relentlessly about how quiet the new generation of Formula One race cars are, and that they can barely make an audible difference between an F1 race car and a Formula E example. Because clearly such similarity-makers are either deaf and/or should be on some form of register.
Well, let Drivl tell you (and drawing on bitter, personal experience) if it’s noise you want, then a welded diff will definitely answer your prayers on that score. Not least when the car is desperately trying to negotiate a sharp left-hander, yet throughout the move fighting with itself/the laws of traction/the committed driver/the odds to hold anything vaguely resembling a recognised race line. Destined – if ushered in – to determine the men from the boys of F1, fans will suddenly notice other, subtle changes too. Like in the driver’s physique.
Gone will be flyweight tadpoles, as drivers will henceforth have to bulk up and become spinach-consumers with biceps and forearms like Popeye himself; as we bid a collective farewell to Grossjean and welcome instead the dawn of Grossjean-claude Van Damme et al. Indeed, such transformations are set to become a rudimentary requirement if drivers are to wrestle control of their machines in the 2019 season and make headway under the new welded diff ethos.