Carpark etiquette

Morons in the infinite loop

4y ago

Carparks. The UK is full of them. Supermarkets, shopping centres, town centres, city centres, multi-storeys... they are visited by hundreds of thousands of us every day when we do our weekly shop, when we pop into town, when we visit the nearest city to do our Christmas shopping. Why then do many drivers feel that it is okay to behave like utter morons in carparks? Why do some motorists find driving in carparks so stressful that they feel the need to resort to sounding their horn and shouting disgusting obscenities to other motorists and pedestrians? I may have some answers...

I think some of it is down to the layout of carparks. Let's face it, supermarkets HAVE to provide them, and the more spaces they have the more shoppers they can get into their stores. I have seen many many supermarket carparks with such mind-blowingly idiotic layouts that one must assume that the planners found a "special needs" child to go to town on a piece of paper and said "yep, that'll do". The resulting layout of the carpark means that drivers are faced with ridiculous one-way systems in which you find yourself in an infinite loop or find themselves at tiny carpark junctions out of which it takes an hour to pull out of because no one else wants to let you out lest you "take their space" in the queue to leave the infinite loop.

I recently heard a story about such a carpark, local to me, where a supermarket employee was actually run over (albeit it at 5mph) by a BMW. The driver poked his massive head and "I'm a winner" attitude out of his window and attempted to chastise the lady for getting in the way. The thing is, he hit her on a zebra crossing, which she was already half-way across. I later found out that the imbecile's numberplate was taken down and reported to the police by an eye-witness. Why people think that behaving like this behind the wheel is acceptable is beyond me. They don't do it to their family. They don't do it to their colleagues. So why do it in a car? The whole "I paid more for my car so I have more right to be on the road" issue is for another day, however.

This kind of behaviour is not acceptable in civilised society. If you're running late it's more than likely to be your own fault. It's certainly not the fault of the old lady in her 1995 Ford Fiesta driving around the carpark's infinite loop at 3mph while you attempt to dash in to grab your refrigerated latte and lunch-time meal-deal. If you find yourself confronted with one of these moronic turds in a carpark, give them the finger and carry on with your day. And remember: carparks are public places and are subject to the rules of the Highway Code. You see that stick to the left of your steering-wheel? That's right - the indicator. It works in carparks too!

Be nice. Be sensible. Be safe. Carparks are filled with hazards, not least of all children, please use them carefully.

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