- My sketched BHP chart...

Charting your BHP

How much BHP should your next car have?

I detest the idea of downgrading. I got into cars at the same time as I got into PC's. You would NEVER consider getting a PC with a slower processor. I started out with a 486 SX 25. The step was to upgrade to a DX33, then eventually a DX100. Obviously the climb continued. At the same time I got a Yamaha DT50 (I was 16) with 7 bhp.

The 7 bhp Yama DT50

The 7 bhp Yama DT50

Now that 7 bhp processor wasn't fast. It was quicker and less tiring than walking, but in honesty I reckon a push-bike would have been faster.

Naturally I had to upgrade, so I went up to a 34 bhp Seat Marbella. It was an utter pile of crap. You can read about why here:-

Recently I've upgraded from a 231 BHP Jaguar X-Type to a 247 BHP Ford Focus ST3. It occurred to me I could probably chart my BHP over the years and work out what I ought to aim for NEXT time I change cars. Here's the result:-

My BHP over the years.

My BHP over the years.

I've never downgraded. I drew a best fit line. (The higher BHP cars later on make the 140 BHP at around 33 years old look like an anomaly.

The line suggests if I change my car again at around 43 - 46, I really ought to be looking at 320 - 340 BHP. Which sounds sensible, maybe something like a Focus RS would be a reasonable fit?

The problem is when I'm a blind, incontinent old 90 year old, looking for a run-about to get me from the nursing home to the crown green bowls club...

If I followed the best fit line, I'd end up putting my glasses on, turning up my hearing aid, then going to look for a 750 BHP pensioner mobile!

That's if we're still driving our cars then! We might all be going around in painfully slow, dull-as-wallpapering driverless spark boxes by then! :-

Being the only resident at the nursing home driving a 750 BHP hypercar would be a more entertaining way to end my days, even if speedhumps make my false teeth fall out and I have to have one of those little disabled knobs on the steering wheel!

Martyn Stanley

#story #humour

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Comments (2)

  • Something fun to do on a rainy day!

      4 years ago
  • this is very helpful

      4 years ago