We know the stats: 0-60 in under 2.5 seconds, 1479bhp and nearly two and a half million pounds. But that's all a bit irrelevant if you look like you're trying too hard.
I've been a fan of the Veyron since day one. Not because of the breakneck stats, because I'll be honest - once it's mindblowingly quick they're all the same to me. But I like the Veyron - not too overstated, nice and curvy...if not a little goldfishy.
Aquatics aside, it was all-in-all a nice car and one I could see myself driving. It was, to my mind, the hypercar for car-lovers, rather than alien aircraft enthusiasts. So naturally I was disappointed to see it superceded.
But the Chiron does not disappoint.
The goldfish grille remains, but it is somehow less offensive in this new model. Whilst I am not a fan of the headlights (the facade reminds me a little too much of my Japanese language lecturer at university when someone got up to leave early without the obligatory 'shitsureishimasu'), it is just...stunning.
The two-tone curves make it impossible to stop staring at this masterpiece, and it has all the beauty of the Venus de Milo.
That's before one even gets into the car, for the interior is enough to make you feel as though you are lounging in a 10-star hotel in Dubai. Except better.
In short, I'm in love.
There's only one problem. It is named after a Centaur.
Bugatti insist that the inspiration was Louis Chiron, a racing driver for Bugatti (who famously lost his job by having an affair with his boss' wife), but to me, they're wrong. Their car is named after a half-horse half man known for his wisdom with herbs, potions and healing.
For everything I loved about the Veyron, my favourite thing was the name. It wasn't a Bugatti Veyron, it was simply a Veyron. That name could make anyone weak at the knees. But a Chiron? It sounds more like a transformer or a computer part. The soul has gone.
So what is one to do?
Simple. Buy the Chiron and don't tell anybody what it is. With luck they'll mistake it for a Veyron. A really, truly beautiful Veyron.