Christmas Car Decorations – Getting Too Into The Spirit Of Things

52w ago

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I have absolutely no shame in admitting that I rather love Christmas. There's an atmosphere that ripples through the air at this time of year that delivers a sense of puerility and magic right to the doors of those that are willing to accept it. I know that sounds like something pulled straight from the opening paragraph of a Jehovah's Witness Training Manual, but there is truth to it. All those decorations, fairy lights, turkeys being slaughtered, and angels that get sexually assaulted by trees every year.  

Despite loving Christmas however, I do think there is a point where a person can get a bit too into the Christmas spirit. Namely, when a person advertises their love for Christmas by festooning their car with all the decorations they couldn't fit in their house.  

You may think this is something I've just made up, or something that only happens within the wonderful world of Lapland. Unfortunately however, there are genuinely people out there that like to vomit all over their cars with Christmassy accoutrements. Here are just a few examples...  

Now, I'm not going to say that people shouldn't be allowed to decorate their cars however they want, because that level of censorship is a place where only Antifa would stoop to. But I don't think it's particularly unreasonable to wonder if those who have decorated their cars for Christmas have been taking their mulled wine intravenously. Surely, something has to be going on for a person to become so intoxicated by Christmas.  

There is of course one startling and meaningful point to what appears to be nothing but a rambling blog. As far as I'm concerned, to decorate one's car in Christmas paraphernalia is – to say the very least – a sign of bad taste. And as far as I can tell, that bad taste also resulted in those people buying truly dreadful cars. The moral of the story is: if you see a car draped in fairy lights, even if those lights prevent you from identifying it, know that the car beneath is probably terrible.  

...unless it's this Evo, that is! Can't believe someone would subject a poor Evo to this cruelty.  

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Written by: Angelo Uccello

Twitter: @AngeloUccello

Tribe: Speed Machines

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Comments (2)
  • I rather think that's clever.

    11 months ago
  • Is the author, perhaps, just being a little bitch?

    11 months ago
    • Hmmm...no. I don't really think the phrase "little bitch" is entirely accurate. I'm much more of a..."sarcastic cunt". Thanks 👍🏼

      11 months ago
      2 Bumps

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