- All this can be yours for not much more than the square root of Jack Shit. It's the future.

dacia 'cures cancer'

1y ago


The new Dacia Sandero has come top - which actually means bottom - in the latest Cap Hpi cost-of-ownership survey. What this means is that the basic Sandero 1.0 SCe Access is the absolute entry point for new car ownership, the thing at the infinitely narrow point of the inverted triangle of possible fiscal commitment to motoring. It works out at £206.10 per month for the first three years.

For that, you get an entire motor car, which makes the Sandero compare favourably with the much more expensive but incomplete Ariel Atom or the hideously expensive Lamborghini Huracan, which has only two seats.

Expensive rubbish.

To put this into perspective, a British smoker need give up just 13 cigarettes a day to be rewarded with not only improved health but also a new car, along with the knowledge that he or she will be - possibly - relieving the burden on the health service during these difficult times. People with a 20-a-day habit can continue to smoke the remaining seven tabs without foregoing the Dacia.

However, a spokesperson for Dacia UK pointed out, 'If you give up the other seven as well, you could specify some nice extras, like a radio. It's a win-win.' In fact over three years the optional (sic) radio works out at just a third of a gasper per day, meaning the Sandero 1.0 SCe cannot mathematically function as a structured programme for giving up addiction to nicotine for anyone smoking more than 13.333r per day.

Meanwhile, drinking enthusiasts might like to consider giving up just 1.85675676 pints of beer per day in my local puborama in return for being seen in a brand-new, though radioless, car. It's possible to mangle this nonsense endlessly. For example, giving up one sugar in a cup of tea or coffee would allow anyone drinking five cups a day to buy a base-level Sandero, outright, for cash, after just 29 years, four months and 24 days (not including radio). I'm sure you can come up with something equally facile but I want to see your working out.