Dear Ignis

My best and only attempt at a romantic piece.

I love the Suzuki Ignis.

People on Drivetribe always ask how I could possibly love such an ugly, pointless, mis-shapen body. I am pushed aside as a social outcast. I have tomatoes hurled at me in the street. I am forbidden in 200 countries, which really says a lot given there's officially 196. Protesters obliterate the tranquility of my evening detox by chanting on my front door!

Thank God they sent in the helicopters, their noise was most disrupting of my afternoon tea.

Thank God they sent in the helicopters, their noise was most disrupting of my afternoon tea.

So why is it, you may be asking, that I am so willing to live with these cruel restrictions on my freedom. Well, it's all about a little thing called love.

I love how Ignis is so well grounded. It knows full well what it is and what it's on Earth to do, but I love how it simultaneously has the confidence to lie straight to the world about how it is supposedly something else entirely. And how it has literally won awards in the category of which it lied to be a part of.

Small 'SUV'? You don't say.

Small 'SUV'? You don't say.

I love its shape. It's almost identical in shape to the cardboard box which my Amazon order arrived in last week, and for that it is not only unique, but just adorable too. It is angular, its rear lines heading out in a diagonal direction across the boot area but then just jetting downward vertically because it's bold and daring like that. Its wheels sit out slightly from the main part of the frame, and it has the most wonderfully bright ey- I mean lights.

Funky no?

Funky no?

Ignis boasts off-road ready looks on its front bumper, and shows itself tackling dirt trails in its photos across the internet. But really it'll never leave the road unless to park up on the path outside the town fair. However, this shows its organisation and determination. Despite not being perhaps best equipped for certain aspects of car life, it is willing to go in and give it its best. Ignis is strange, and I love that.

With a wading depth of 15 feet, Land Rover and Jeep have nothing on the plucky Japanese.

With a wading depth of 15 feet, Land Rover and Jeep have nothing on the plucky Japanese.

I love it's value for saving money, and how it truly tries harder than everyone else to label themselves what they're really worth. It isn't greedy, demanding 60 thousand pounds for some badges here and there. It is happy-go-lucky, and clearly those who have given Ignis some time feel the same. Just ask Whatcar or JD Power. With a pricetag of just over 11 thousand pounds, it is also very reasonable and has little interest in playing hard to get.

I also love its peaceful approach to life. How it only ever needs to go at most, 103mph. Because it has respect for the finer things in life, that those in a rush will miss. I like how it doesn't care about being needy and requiring great investments of money to be happy in life, with its 58mpg statistic.

Ignis has a great character, and doesn't need speed to hide away its flaws.

Ignis has a great character, and doesn't need speed to hide away its flaws.

So what should we learn from Ignis and its almighty perfection? Well, there's lots to it. 1) Big things CAN come in small packages. 2) Speed is a shield for deeper fundamental flaws, and 3) Cars that look like cardboard boxes are reaaaally cool.

So there, I said it. I confess my love for Ignis. And given that's the only love I'm ever likely to give to anything, marvel in the moment.

Thank you for reading my article, even though it should really be you guys thanking me for making it.

Because frankly it's a work of literary art.

Good day.

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