Definitive proof that Tesla CEO Elon Musk is a supervillain

He's got a fleet of robotic rockets, a submarine car, a secret desert base and he wants to drop nuclear bombs on Mars. It's time to face the facts.

Car Keys posted in Car Keys
4y ago
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Given that he’s a young but brilliant engineer and entrepreneur, a visionary billionaire with a unique charm and a never-ending stream of futuristic technologies flowing from his Silicon Valley headquarters, it’s unsurprising that Elon Musk has often been compared to Tony Stark.

But dare to scratch beneath the surface and it becomes frighteningly clear that the Tesla CEO and Space X founder is, in fact, far more villainous in his intent than the heroic Iron Man.

While Tony Stark busies himself with protecting the world from evil, Musk is obsessed with persuading the public towards electric cars, powered by a cluster of snakelike, Doctor Octopus-style fast chargers of his own design.

Still unconvinced? Allow us to argue this worrying point further, with ten points that we believe finally offers definitive proof that Elon Musk is a supervillain.

He’s got a supervillain name

When was the last time you heard of a man named John Smith threatening to blow up the world with a giant ray gun, or poison the world’s water supply?

When was the last time you heard of a man named John Smith threatening to blow up the world with a giant ray gun, or poison the world’s water supply?

He was born in South Africa

South Africa’s chief export is villainy as anybody who’s watched Lethal Weapon 2 or District 9 will be able to tell you, and so it should come as no shock that Musk was born in Pretoria.

South Africa’s chief export is villainy as anybody who’s watched Lethal Weapon 2 or District 9 will be able to tell you, and so it should come as no shock that Musk was born in Pretoria.

His cars are resistant to chemical weapons

Just some of the tricks and gizmos packed into the new Tesla Model X SUV include a button which can activate an advanced air filter that can protect the occupants inside from chemical and biological weapons.

Just some of the tricks and gizmos packed into the new Tesla Model X SUV include a button which can activate an advanced air filter that can protect the occupants inside from chemical and biological weapons.

He made his fortune as a tech guru

Of course Musk is known primarily as an inventor and tech mogul, but let’s look at a list of his peers. There’s Bond villain Max Zorin who made microchips, Simpsons bad guy Hank Scorpio who ran a seemingly innocuous tech firm.

Of course Musk is known primarily as an inventor and tech mogul, but let’s look at a list of his peers. There’s Bond villain Max Zorin who made microchips, Simpsons bad guy Hank Scorpio who ran a seemingly innocuous tech firm.

His motivations are textbook villain

The best villains are never evil for the sake of being evil, but instead their wrongdoing often stems from some misguided sense that they’re really helping the world.

The best villains are never evil for the sake of being evil, but instead their wrongdoing often stems from some misguided sense that they’re really helping the world.

He’s got the look down

Spot the difference. SPOILERS: there is no difference.

Spot the difference. SPOILERS: there is no difference.

SOURCE: www.carkeys.co.uk/news/definitive-proof-that-tesla-ceo-elon-musk-is-a-supervillain

He has the technology

Cars which can drive themselves, robotic rockets that can land upright and re-launch themselves, a gigantic city-sized solar panel installation, an electrically-powered jet concept that can take off and land vertically…

Cars which can drive themselves, robotic rockets that can land upright and re-launch themselves, a gigantic city-sized solar panel installation, an electrically-powered jet concept that can take off and land vertically…

He owns the Spy Who Loved Me submarine Esprit

The Bond connection continues thanks to the fact that Musk owns one of the most iconic film cars ever, the famous submersible Lotus Esprit from The Spy Who Loved Me.

The Bond connection continues thanks to the fact that Musk owns one of the most iconic film cars ever, the famous submersible Lotus Esprit from The Spy Who Loved Me.

He’s got a mysterious secret base

Maybe it’s not as glamorous as a moon base or a volcano lair, but Musk’s Tesla HQ deep in the Nevada desert is probably a bit more practical but equally as mysterious.

Maybe it’s not as glamorous as a moon base or a volcano lair, but Musk’s Tesla HQ deep in the Nevada desert is probably a bit more practical but equally as mysterious.

Hyperloop or monorail…?

The Hyperloop is arguably Musk’s most ambitious project yet, a Futurama-style pneumatic tube transportation system that he says will be able to propel people through it at up to 760mph.

The Hyperloop is arguably Musk’s most ambitious project yet, a Futurama-style pneumatic tube transportation system that he says will be able to propel people through it at up to 760mph.

Find prices for Tesla cars here: www.carkeys.co.uk/tesla

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Comments (22)

  • and who's the superspy that's gonna try to apprehend the supervillain to justice? Jeremond May...

      3 years ago
  • Best article on the internet.

      4 years ago
    • I completely agree!

        4 years ago
    • Maybe the new GT3 RS is Musk's thing, too: Big wing and manual gears. At least you invented the famous organ, Richard! Btw, I once met Jay Kay in Cologne three years ago in a restaurant, no one recognized him! He is a really cool guy! We chatted a...

      Read more
        4 years ago
  • soo, elon musk uses child labor, has put the lives of his workers at risk several times, because his factories have weak safety precautions, pays his workers on third world countries barely enough for one and a half meal a day, and openly advocating against the rights of marginalized groups.

    You do not think those things make him a super villain?, i swear to god, every single one of you 20 year olds that admire him are fcking children, grow the fck up.

      7 months ago
  • My gran was South African and she didn't have a bad bone in her body.

      4 years ago
    • No offence to South Africans Sam, this was purely satirical.

        4 years ago
    • I know. My comment was meant to be somewhat lighthearted

        4 years ago
  • this right here is the best thing on the internet

      4 years ago
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