Dodgem Cars!

It's me, Derek 'I've never crashed' Fastman, reviewing some Bumper cars

10w ago
2.7K

So, this is my first article and It's about dodgems. This should be fun.

First off, I obviously can do serious car reviews, but I haven't driven anything particularly impressive lately and the only thing I can remember driving is a dodgem car, because its quite hard to forget.

they are generally powered by an electrified mesh in the ceiling. how does that work? well, there's a large antenna just behind you, which skims along the mesh and powers the 90/100v electric motor.

Enough procrastination, you want to know how these things are to drive. The handling is atrocious, as in you struggle to get around the circular 'autodrome' without some sort of almost wet pants moment, and it doesn't help that everyone there has got it in for you and will try to kill you at every opportunity they get.

The speed is also atrocious, maxing out at approximately 3 miles an hour, although that is still terrifying enough because, as I mentioned, I was on a hitlist for some reason. Also, there are awful brakes, so if you can see the thing you could hit, even if there's only a remote possibility of contact, you need to brace yourself for impact. if you have ever been in a hovercraft, its a bit like that (because your more likely to do that than bumper cars, obviously).

there's also no reverse, so when you do crash, you are in quite a sticky situation and either waste 9 of your 10 minutes trying to get out, followed by one minute trying to hunt down the person who caused the incident and return the favour, or you have to suffer the eternal shame of admitting you have crashed and having someone push you back out and then attack everyone else to reassert your dominance as the best driver...in the tiny oval (if you didn't read that in Jezza's voice, you need your brain scanned)

as you can probably tell, I am sceptical about the concept of the bumper car, although they are technically not meant to be crashed, which would make the entire experience better, so I wouldn't say its the best. but the thing is, I would recommend to a friend, partly because i am vindictive and want them to be hurt, but also because if you don't then you really are missing out.

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