DRIVER REVEALS ONE SIMPLE TRICK TO AVOID ALL SPEEDING FINES AND PENALTY POINTS
Motorist reveals the simple trick that she has been using for the last 10 years that has helped her to avoid speeding tickets and penalty points
A motorist has revealed the one simple trick that she has been using for the last 10 years that she claims has helped her to avoid speeding tickets and penalty points on her driving licence.
32-year-old Melanie Milfridge told our Chief Reporter that she has managed to drive since passing her test in 2006 without being caught for a single motoring offence.
She said: ‘It’s all down to one simple trick really. I don’t break the fucking speed limit.’
‘If I am on a particular stretch of road, a combination of my knowledge of the Highway Code and local signage will usually tell me the maximum speed at which I can take my vehicle in a forward direction without setting off any speed cameras.’
‘By applying this one life hack to my everyday driving habits, I also manage to not kill anyone or run off whinging to the local press when a pothole ruins my wheel tracking.’
We asked Melanie how it is possible to apply this simple trick all the time.
She said: ‘I have a device fitted in my vehicle that gives me a constant readout of the speed at which I am driving forwards.’
‘It even updates itself in real time when I slow down or speed up.’
Legal expert Giles Schnuck of the law practice Schnuck and Chookem told our Chief Reporter that police are not currently investigating ways to close this loophole.
He said: ‘There is a similar quirk of the law when it comes to legislation involving murder.’
‘There have been a number of cases in the last twenty years or so where members of the public have managed to wriggle out of life sentences by not bludgeoning anyone to death with a brick.’
‘If more and more motorists apply this one simple trick to their driving habits, it will also remove the need for middle-aged men holding radar guns in villages under the impression that they are some kind of Speed Rambo or something.’
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Comments (27)
I'd like to formally invite her to visit Belgium. We have annoyingly low speed limits.
Same here in Canada. Most highways are 100 kph or less.
In Germany, formaly, highways is 120...130...but everybody knows that you can drive 160, 200 or even more without special restrictions. There are some parts of "autobahn" around Nürnberg or elsewhere that is so good and visibly...
Read moreThis is just a stolen article from here southendnewsnetwork.com/news/driver-reveals-one-simple-trick-to-avoid-speeding-fines-and-penalty-points/ - It makes much more sense when posted on a satirical news site (and tbh the main thing its satirising is all those stupid 'one simple trick' ads the internet is filled with)
Actually, this had been a German article first. www.der-postillon.com/2015/10/autofahrer-entlarvt-geheimen.html
Yes, same idea, although feasibly could have been thought up independently, but this is a direct copy and paste - they've even used the same stock image!
In a forward direction? So in other words if you want to speed do so in reverse, if nothing else it should make for some hilariously horrifying speed camera footage as you blaze through town backwards at 45mph
Anyone not used to rear wheel steering (from combines or forklifts) should probably practice some place safe before trying that!
Also, if you speed in reverse on the wrong side of the road, the speed camera will show that you're going...
Read morewe've learned something today folks: D_TRB needs a downvote/dislike button!
I presume this is a sarcastic piss take!?! Otherwise don't waste our time on Drive Tribe with this sort of post. Leave diversity and self-righteous pomposity to the BBC... Knobs