Sounds stupid, I know.

I passed back in August, we got a new car, insured on it by September - sorted. Only if I wasn't so nervous every time I got into that seat, that I stopped shaking to turn the key. I'm not that bad any more since I have been driving around with Daniel with me. Makes sense seeing we go shopping or seeing family together.

But one day, last week I had an emergency call from work - a part-time job in a local gaming business. My boss called me, saying one of the supervisors was sent home sick and if I could come and help till 6pm. I said 'sure, I've got nothing on, give me an hour to get ready and I'll be there.

That is a map of the route. It is only 2.2 miles away, takes about 10 minutes by car, by tram though, it takes 30 minutes. It may be only 3 stops on the tram but that is way too long for me that day!

I looked at the car, hoping that for the first time driving alone, that it wouldn't kill me or I - in less rude words - didn't cock up. Scared is another word I would use, even though I am a good driver, you can't take account for others on the same road, some being morons and some just not paying any attention.

I played with the key for a moment, my anxiety playing with my heart as much as that key fob in my fingers - then, I thought 'sod it'. Door open, key in and twist, music on, belt on and go. My driveway is the best place as I live in a square, with others parking along the other side of the tight road. This makes getting in and out of my drive impossible on some days. Nothing we can do about that though.

I'm lucky as most of the roads to work are dual carriageways, but are heavily policed with cameras all over the place. The highest speed is 40 MPH on the straight boulevard, dipping down to 30 everywhere else. I can deal with that, what I can't deal with is other people wanting to break those limits, getting right behind you, sod that - you shall not pass!

Finally, I got onto the Industrial estate, trundling along to get to the car park, which is always full. We have 4 car parks at the company: one for visitors, one for customers, one for the car sharers and the largest one for employees. I spot a space, this is also the first time I have done a reverse park in my car - bang on perfect.

I was so proud of myself, I didn't crash or kill someone, I even held my own after being tailgated at top speed. The problem with new drivers isn't that they are reckless, it's either one of two things - they don't have the confidence to play with the rest of us or they are so confident, they don't see the dangers.

My issue is that I see everything as a danger.

I am still scared.

AND AS ALWAYS, THANKS FOR READING...

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