I believe that every boy should dream big. They should want an Aston on the drive of their mansion and the helicopter on the helipad and the tank…well where ever that goes, but the point is, they need something to aim for. Sort of the American dream sort of thing. Sort of. But the sad fact is this: nearly every 4 out of 10 cars sold in Britain today comes out wearing either the blue oval on its nose, or whatever the hell that stupid monster thing is on the front of a Vauxhall. Now I am not saying there is anything wrong with a Ford. Believe me there’s not, and even a hot hatch from Vauxhall these days are not so bad, but no matter how much I try, I just cant get past the fact that you will be driving to work and it will be Ford, Vauxhall,Ford,Vauxhall,Ford, Vauxhall. And being in a small town in Devon , thats what im going to be subjected to. Well actually being a small town in Devon, what im mostly subjected to is abuse being hurled down to me from a tractor dropping his inbred son off to school so he can get his target grade of a G. Stereotyping aside, people say about starving Africans that “its not their fault they were born in a developing country” and yet you never hear someone saying “look at that poor sod commuting in the Vauxhall Astra, its not his fault he was born in the West country”.
There is but one hope. The new, 15 plate Mondeo from our blue nosed friends at Ford. With its grille that Ford pinched from Aston Martin, and the brake lights they have “borrowed” from Maserati, this ones certainly a looker. Also, with gadgets up to its neck, its well equipped too. Apart from the essentials inside, it has dynamic head lights and a new touch screen center consul, new to Ford (but developed by the Germans at Merc about twenty years ago) which brings them out from the 20th century. This car really defines a leap into this age after the boring C-maxes and various other people carriers. The cars worth mentioning from Ford are the Model T, Capri, Cortina, Escort, Mondeo, Fiesta, and Ka. Oooh yeah and that limo of a car the Granada. The really cool one that featured in exciting spy shows (we have one btw), and thats it really. Then we come to Vauxhall. The Corsa, the new Astra. Thats why im a Ford man, and not a Merc, Audi or BMW man e.g a complete f*****.