- The 911

Exotic Cars are Objectively Fast

Let me explain...

10w ago

Now there are certain things in life, which I don't like doing. Dancing, handling faeces and disagreeing with James May are three of them. Thankfully nearly 18 months of being house-bound in lockdown has meant the pressure to 'dance' hasn't arisen for a long time. Sadly, having a great fat Labrador insistent on regularly fertilising the lawn has meant 'thing I don't like doing' number 2 has been unavoidable.



To be fair, he is very cuddly though, and provided you steadily feed him food, he's extremely loyal. His favourite food is actually mature blue stilton on a cracker. I know this, because when he sees me eating some and starts looking at me expectantly - the sides of his mouth start running like little taps. When I actually give him a cracker? Well that's a vision of pure doggy bliss.

So What About James May?

Well, my good friend and colleague Mr. May (I'm going to go out on a limb here - bear with) usually talks a lot of sense. He's man I generally consider reasonably sensible. However, he once made a point (quite strongly) which I'd like to bring into question.

Around three years ago, he posted this:-

The gist of his argument was that travelling to and thro from his holiday cottage in witch-burning territory is no faster in his Carrera 2S than the present Mrs. May's Fiat Panda.

I sort of get what he meant. Speed limits, traffic lights, and all that rigmarole do hinder progress and they hinder it almost equally to fast and slow cars. Being able to rocket to 60 mph in half the time as the Panda might be useful in the traffic lights grand prix, but over the course of a 100 mile journey it probably has less impact on the race than a colleague screwing a dildo to your steering wheel.

Hang on? You're supposed to be DISAGREEING with him!

Yes, yes, I know! I'll get to that! Look, here's the deal. Over the course of the last three years I've been regularly undertaking a morning drive through rush hour traffic. It's not my commute. I only work a mile from home. It's that I drop my daughter off at the girl's school in Sandbach in the 911 and previously the Focus ST3.

Now both the 911 and the Focus ST3 are objectively 'performance' cars, the 911 even more so. However, I would suggest that there's evidence that the 911 is the better car to make progress through rush hour.

I know what you're thinking. 'This is madness!' but hear me out. I've noticed, that when I get to junction or a roundabout in the 911, in heavy traffic, I never have to wait for someone to let me out or in.

It might be coincidence, but I've been doing this drive for months and I'm 100% sure people are generally much more inclined to let me in if I'm driving the 911 than the old Focus. I can't help but think this is simply because people recognize an iconic car like the 911 and they like it.

They're ploughing their way through heavy traffic day in and day out, listening to Zoe Ball witter on about everything and nothing on Radio 2, looking forward to wasting away behind a desk for the day, staring at screen. Life is boring! You see an interesting car? One that you like? Maybe you're just a little bit more inclined to let that car in so you can have your day brightened up by driving along behind it, getting a good look for a few minutes.

I don't know if this IS a thing. But I reckon it is, and I reckon that's the reason.

Technically, to prove this conclusively I could do with some more data. I don't know if the Porsche is actually the most interesting car I could be driving either, it's an understated GT Silver example. I also don't know if the ST3 was the best comparator as some people perceive them to be a slightly twatty car, driven by boy racers and yobbos.

The bottom line is, I reckon this needs some research. If anyone has a 2003 Toyota Camry and a red Ferrari 458 Italia for the weekends - Try your Fezza on the commute! Record the results! Do people let you in more? If you have a Vauxhall Astra and a lime green McLaren Senna, try doing the daily in the McLaren! I'm sure you'll find people are more inclined to let you in!

Of course I could be talking bollocks and the observation I've made is entirely down to coincidence. But what do you think?

Martyn Stanley

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Comments (12)

  • On a similar but different note has anyone else noticed certain cars get cut up & bullied more in traffic.

    Let me explain, a few years back i had a bright red golf GTI, for my job at the time i had to reluctantly drive a citeron picasso. I noticed over those years if i was driving my golf around hardly anyone cut in front of me on a motorway or tried to edge their way in front of my at busy junctions ect but in the picasso it was the total opposite. Noticing a similar trend since i bought a countryman. Had a fella pull out of a lay-by on a country road while back it quite a dangerous way so as u would i applied the horn with some gusto. He began to rant & rave but upon seeing a hairy faced bloke behind the wheel got down off his high horse. I think ppl expect a lady later on in life or the hated term “soccer mom” driving something like mine or the Picasso.

      2 months ago
  • they are capable, as long as you do not live among 108 speed humps

      2 months ago
  • There is something to this, for sure. I am less likely to allow some yabbo driving an after-market-riddled WRX in my lane as I would someone driving an elegant and stylishly understated Carrera 4S like yours. Why though? Shouldn't I allow people in my lane equally, without prejudice? Oh that's right, I'm not a better person. lol.

      2 months ago
    • As far as an economy car performing as well as an exotic sports car in city traffic, I think where I disagree with James, is his perspective.

      Not only does James get to drive the most exotic cars on the planet for his job, he owns a few special...

      Read more
        2 months ago
    • It’s actually quite satisfying taking the 911 to the tip or the shops - just for people’s reaction! 😂😂😂

        2 months ago
  • When I was merging onto the highway in my R8 tester, people didn’t let me in. They wanted to drive right up to it for photos. Same with the Taycan Turbo I drove in August.

    But the 992 911 C4S? Slid right in there because they’re everywhere around where I live.

      2 months ago