[SATIRE]

MONTRÉAL—Following his controversial penalty Sunday, Sebastian Vettel stormed into FIA race control to make an attempt at appealing the decision. He did not expect what he found in the small office.

Anonymous sources at the scene tell us that Vettel came upon all of the stewards huffing Ferrari’s race fuel from drenched tube socks.

Sources say that when confronted with their abuse of the fuel, the stewards explained they were only attempting to confirm Christian Horner’s claims of it smelling like grapefruit.

Vettel, apparently stunned and frustrated by the scene spent little time in the office, instead leaving to have his team handle the situation.

The controversial penalty came after the Ferrari driver took pole at the grand prix, and the Ferrari pit wall removed their strategy-determining dart board.

The stewards defended themselves by saying they wanted to have competitive racing, but also owed it to the fans to, “Give good drama to the Netflix series, and subvert expectations.”

The penalty came as good news to Mercedes, who have been dominating the season despite a vastly inferior car.

[SATIRE]

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