F​inish Jeremy Clarkson's Quotes

4w ago
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"​He who shall be last, shall be...-"

  • sideways and smiling.
  • c​alled a looooseeeeer!
  • optimistic and laughing.
  • g​iven to the Stig as a dinner.

"​Nothing turns on a girl more than...-"

  • a​ loud stereo.
  • g​iant wheels.
  • a​ well-executed handbrake turn.
  • a​ fantastically well done burnout.

"​You blithering...-"

  • t​wat.
  • m​uppet.
  • i​diot.

"​Telling people at a dinner party you drive a Nissan Almera is like...-"

  • t​elling them you've got the Ebola virus and you're about to sneeze.
  • t​elling them you grandmother is a serial killer and she is about to arrive at the party.
  • t​elling them you have a gas tank behind you and you're about to fart.

"​But we didn't, because...-"

  • t​hat's what anyone would do.
  • t​hat's what everyone was expecting us to do.
  • t​hat's exactly what they expected us to do.
  • a​fter all these hours of hard work, we decided not to do it.

"T​onight, the new Viper, which is the American equivalent of a sports car, in the same way, I guess, that...-"

  • Taco Bell is the equivalent of a laxative.
  • h​amburgers are the equivalent of healthy food.
  • G​eorge Bush is the equivalent of a President.

"Whenever I'm suffering from insomnia, I just look at the picture of a...-"

  • Nissan Sentra and I'm straight off.
  • Toyota Camry and I'm straight off.
  • Dodge Dart and I'm straight off.

"Koenigsegg are saying that the CXX is more comfortable. More comfortable than what...-"

  • Being stabbed?
  • Watching James May drive fast?
  • Shooting your back?
  • Kicking yourself in the bottom?

"As a matter of fact, the only way this car could be less annoying to eco-mentalists is if its engine ran on...-"

  • mutated cows.
  • whale patties.
  • sliced dolphin.
  • cooked alpaca.

Hollywood movies are designed for 15-year-old youths from North Dakota who, intellectually speaking, are on equal...-"

  • terms with Richard Hammond.
  • terms with a blithering idiot.
  • terms with a British zoo animal.
  • terms with a fly on a window.

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