FMK: cars. An explainer.

2y ago


If you're not one of the literally dozens of people who have heard our podcast, this article is for you. On our show (also called TeamClearCoat - who would have guessed!), my cohost Dave and I play a game called FMK: cars. It's something we came up with when Dave was bored at a conference a few years ago. Based on the classic game of "Fuck, Marry, Kill," this is the same concept except played with cars instead of celebrities. So in this case, three cars are presented to you, and to each one, you have to assign the following:

"Fuck" = drive it for a day.

"Marry" = this is your new daily driver, the only car you're allowed to own for the rest of time, warts and all.

"Kill" = it goes to the crusher immediately.

Pretty simple, right? The fun comes in crafting these, though, especially when you start adding themes. So, halo Ferraris could be: F40, F50, Enzo. I'd Fuck the F40 (I _might_ be able to survive driving that for one day), Marry the F50 (because noises) and Kill the Enzo (because ugly). The best thing is that there's no right answer, but usually a lot of agonizing between hard choices. Here's another early, very specific favorite of ours: Super Coupes of 1984.

Jag XJS, BMW 635CSi, Porsche 928

Okay, that was FMK: cars 101. When you're ready to get mean, you start adding twists. Dave came up with this one a long time ago and it remains one of the more sadistic combinations we've come up with yet.

It's called "What's the frequency, Kenneth," and with each of these cars, there is a tape/CD/whatever jammed in the stereo and it cannot be changed or turned off. 1. 3rd gen Mazda RX-7, but the Spin Doctors' album "Pocket Full of Kryptonite" is stuck in the stereo. 2. Datsun 240Z with a (shudder) Phish concert bootleg stuck in the stereo. (I almost strangled Dave over this one). 3. Ferrari 456 with a recording of the Art Bell radio show on a loop. For those who don't know, Art Bell was a conspiracy theorist with a late-night radio show in America for like 100 years.

Pure evil.

We'll post more of these as we go. Play along, or submit your own to us!