- Sand is soft and fluffy and this won't hurt at all, right? Think again...

Getting air in a Dakar Rally winner... by mistake

Mini let us loose in its actual Dakar Rally winning Countryman dune-basher.

1y ago
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The fastest version of the Mini Countryman is the John Cooper Works (JCW). John Cooper must have been spinning in his grave when he heard about that one, the first car bearing his name to have four-wheel drive and be an automatic. Well, we're here to tell you about another. And though you can't buy one from your local dealer, we suspect Mr Cooper would heartily approve of the fact that it’s not suitable for the school run.

You're looking at the ALL4 Racing, an extreme purpose-built rally raid machine. To call it a Countryman is stretching the point somewhat, as the only parts shared with the road car are the windscreen, lights and door handles. Instead, the race car chassis and steel roll cage are clothed in carbon fibre. Don't for a minute think that it makes for a lightweight structure though, as it weighs about two tonnes.

Apply Father Ted logic to understand the size of this 'Mini'

Apply Father Ted logic to understand the size of this 'Mini'

When you walk up to it you begin to appreciate why it weighs so much. It towers over normal cars thanks to huge ground clearance and laughably big Michelin all-terrain tyres. They don't hide the special suspension either; twin spring-damper units suspend each of the four wheels, bolted to chunky fabricated double wishbones at each corner. There's no adaptive trickery allowed, and anyway, in the name of reliability that's probably no bad thing.

Don't go asking your Mini dealer for this suspension upgrade for your Countryman

Don't go asking your Mini dealer for this suspension upgrade for your Countryman

This very car won the 2014 Dakar Rally, over 5,500 gruelling miles of competition through extreme terrain and high temperatures. It was, says its driver – Joan 'Nani' Roma – faultless. That he, alongside his co-driver Michel Périn, endured six-hour stints at the wheel in cabin temperatures of over 60 degrees Celsius reveals just how mighty the achievement was.

It's a little cooler for our test in the desert not far from Dubai; though at over 35 degrees it's just a matter of time before someone asks if there’s air conditioning. Not unless you count the roof-mounted air scoop that can be manually opened and closed from inside the cockpit.

I know what this thing does anyway. That's a start, right?

I know what this thing does anyway. That's a start, right?

There's too much else to absorb about the car to be worrying about comfort. I'm strapped into the seat by a six-point harness and my co-driver rattles through the car's controls. I'll never again complain about a haphazardly laid out dashboard in a car, as the Mini's is plain bewildering and there's very little familiar.

The only controls I need worry my little head about today relate to keeping the Mini going in approximately the right direction at as fast a pace as I can handle. There's certainly no worry about me breaking it, even though this car is due back in competitive action a few days later. That illustrates just how tough it is. In spite of that, the driving controls are remarkably light and intuitive to use. That's in a bid to reduce driver fatigue no doubt. The steering wheel is quite normal, if detachable to ease entry, and there are even three pedals in the footwell.

I'm told that the clutch is only needed to move away from a standstill, so that's one less thing to worry about. The sequential gearbox is controlled by a substantial lever that tops out right next to the steering wheel – pull back to change up, push it forward to go down. Easy. And it's light in operation. I select first and feather the throttle and the revs flare. This doesn't sound like a typical turbodiesel engine...

All this with the engine barely above idle

All this with the engine barely above idle

This thing is designed to wade through mud and deep sand and anything else that gets in its way, so the development team focused on torque rather than outright power. At the heart of the engine is the same straight six-cylinder block used by BMW in its 3.0-litre turbodiesels. It uses twin sequential turbochargers too, with the smaller turbo always spinning. That means there's no such thing as lag. A bypass valve is opened gradually to allow the exhaust gases to spin the larger turbo and that helps it produce the 700Nm of torque.

More impressive perhaps is that this happens at just 2,100rpm, and it is plain weird to change up not long after this time and again. The deep reserves of grunt at low revs make themselves known when we enter a hairpin in soft sand and it feels like the car is going to bog down and get stuck. My co-driver tells me keep the accelerator pinned. Sure enough, there's a gradual build-up of boost and suddenly the car is rising up out of the ruts and manically throwing itself towards the nearest sand dune. I sense my co-driver tense up as he suggests slowing down for the jump a little late. We get some air, but my ego boost comes crashing down to earth with a bang as the car's weight and gravity conspire to bury us in the sand. It's no match for the MINI though and we emerge on the other side in a cloud of dust and a flare of revs.

Just a little bit of air...

Just a little bit of air...

If, like me, you expected this to be relatively comfortable, thanks to the softness of the sand, the high profile tyres and big absorbent suspension, you'll be surprised to know that the Mini has a hard, uncomfortable ride at all times, jiggling its occupants around on relatively smooth surfaces and pounding them mercilessly elsewhere. After 30 minutes at the wheel I'm bruised and exhilarated.

Trust me: the sand is NOT as soft as it looks...

Trust me: the sand is NOT as soft as it looks...

After a breather and some time to gather my thoughts it's time to play co-driver as Nani himself takes the wheel to show me what the Mini can really do. Within yards it's clear that I didn't scratch the surface of the racer's abilities. Nani short-shifts up through the gears until we're in sixth and then doesn't let up until we approach the hairpins. The stiff suspension suddenly makes an awful lot of sense and he commits 100 per cent to corners, bumps, ruts and jumps. It's not comfortable (I'd describe it as violent), but it sure as hell is effective.

Nani shows how it should be done. Mercilessly...

Nani shows how it should be done. Mercilessly...

Nani hits the hairpins at much higher speeds too, using the power and four-wheel drive to extravagantly slide the massive Mini in a long drift. Even at his hands there are times where I wonder if the racer is going to topple over, as it certainly pitches about when turned into a corner – and it's a high vehicle. But Nani is in the zone and we're soon attacking a series of sand dunes at speed. Every landing is torture, but this is apparently quite normal for the car and driver, as neither seem in the least bit fazed at the end of the ordeal.

Me? I think I’ll stick to the school run.

"Are you coming out or what? It's over..."

"Are you coming out or what? It's over..."

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Comments (9)

  • Often wondered why mini never rallied the 3 door hatch JCW 🤷‍♂️

      1 year ago
  • What a beast 😮

      1 year ago
  • Wonder if the missus will let me modify hers to look like that...

      1 year ago
  • Great read! Thanks!!

      1 year ago
  • Rally raid specials are just amazing. I wish I could race in one too

      1 year ago
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