- I'm looking forward to the first scandal, so we can talk about 'Elongate'.

Goodbye gas station

1y ago


The electric car revolution is a bit weird. We need a new set of clichés to describe them, heightened awareness when driving them (so we don’t run over people who haven’t heard them coming), and a better understanding of energy than fossil fuels ever demanded of us.

But weirdest of all is that they’ve made economy exciting. By ‘economy’ I mean ‘range’, but it’s the same thing really. So the Tesla Roadster will (allegedly) out-drag an F1 car to 60mph and overtake a Ferrari TheFerrari at full chat, but so what? It will (again allegedly) keep going for 620 miles. That, for most of the world’s people, is 1000km, a magic number.

I never drive anything like as far as that in one go. It’s the distance from my London house to the top of Scotland, which would mean going through the midlands, so I’m simply not going to do it.

Pretty soon, the answer to ‘What’ll it do, mate?’ is going to be a distance.

You can give this a swerve.

Join in

Comments (328)
  • Elongate... funny

    5 months ago
    1 Bump
  • This will not do. To me, the miracle, or what ever word one can conjure for ‘holy shit’, of life is the noise. The noise of life, which lives in the dark hum of night, the clatter of daylight in the dark alleys of despair, and the shrill of Joy as a mucopolysaccharide coated offspring inhales its first hydrocarbon. Life is loud and messy. It is slathered in superfluous thought and neurosis. It is pain and joy and remorse all rolled into a burrito that explodes onto your new T-shirt.

    We must fight silence. We must fight retreat into an electromagnetic world of artificial clacks. We must relearn our voices, our decorum. We must twitch and swear and fart beneath the itchy blankets of nuit. Let our combustion be beneath our ear, not in the steam currents of remote heavy metal fission. Let us concentrate our resources into simple hydrocarbon that burns and pops and rattles. Let us vibrate again, feel again, and hear the baritone echoes of our own voice.

    Nobody will ever read this. And that is good.

    6 months ago
    2 Bumps


5 things you didn’t know about The Grand Tour Game
Mein Porsche ist kaputt
Fill in your garage to win a non-crap prize