- I​t was pissing down, so this is the only picture you're getting.

G​reat car, crap vid

O​ur man with a face from the middle ages drives a thoroughly modern motor

2y ago

S​ome people clearly think Elon Musk is a bit of a nobber, but I think he may be the embodiment of George Bernard-Shaw's maxim, 'All progress depends on the unreasonable man'.

T​his (above) is the Tesla Model S P100D, and it is a bit unreasonable. It seems quite expensive for a car that doesn't really have an engine or gearbox and all the complicated machining and assembly associated with those things, and no-one of sound mind can claim that details such as the panel gaps are anything like as good as Toyota's. The simple interior is knowingly new-age and is trimmed in vegan leather, which I think means 'plastic'. I actually approve of synthetic interiors, because growing demand for them is encouraging car designers to be a bit creative, and that may bring an end to the spurious belief that sitting on a dead cow's arse is somehow 'posh'. B​ut I wish it could look more like technical clothing, and come in more interesting colours.

B​ut then you see the massive touch-screen in the middle, which is bigger than my biggestest iPad, and that gives me the fizz. I've realised that I'm now at a stage in my life when I have a bit of a panic if I'm in a car that isn't totally and utterly connected, because why wouldn't it be? It's a utility, like running water.

I​f you spend a weekend in a Tesla you will go to a supercharger, and meet other Tesla drivers, who have a reputation for being a big evangelical. But they're not really; they're just enthusiastic about the whole thing. They know this isn't actually the second coming, it's just Elon, 'avin' a shmoke.

A​nyway: I was trying to make a short and informative film about the Model S experience, and I failed, because I'm not unreasonable enough. But here's a bit I thought worth rescuing.

Play video

I​'m not sure owls live in trees, but never mind.

W​ithout the performance upgrade, the Model S is simply an agreeable and inoffensive car with a little bit of an agenda. But throw in the world's most important option and, well, this is the only other bit of the film worth saving:

Play video

A​pparently owls do live in trees. I thought it was just barns and belfries.

I​ would have kept that going a bit longer, but I was already at the speed limit and about to smash the bloke in front into the weeds. Plus, my neck hurt.

T​hat's all folks.

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Comments (406)

  • Elon Musk stole my shopping cart once in a Walmart several years ago. I wasn’t even mad, I only had a tube of toothpaste in it anyways.

      2 years ago
    • I thought California banned shopping carts for reusable paper bags to go with the straws. Cheers Jeffery

        2 years ago
    • No, they decided to replace it them with recycled toilet paper.

        1 year ago
  • I like that when you accelerate it looks like someone has hit you in the face with an invisible breeze block. That IS exciting. Otherwise I simple cannot fancy one of these. Yes, if they were cheap then I might think 'Yeah okay it'll do.' but it takes more than a 0-60 time of 'being smacked in the face with an invisble brick' for me to like a car. Well, no not like. I DO like the Tesla Model S P-whatever it is, but not enough to spend the extortionate amount of money they cost to buy one. If I had that money - I honestly think I'd buy something else.

      2 years ago
  • You guys often compare electrics to gas cars. I'd love to see you three take this and two other electrics on a road trip to see who gets there last, i.e. takes the longest to charge.

      2 years ago
  • To all milk boys back in the day. Thank God Elon Musk didn't invent the milk float.We would be toast!

      2 years ago
    • Shall I therefore toast the 'umble milk float with a proper brew ? For myself, I associate the idea of an electric car with slow moving vehicles, doing the unsung jobs .

        2 years ago
  • TBH I'm with James on this, save for one part. Crazy notion it may be, but I'd prefer more wood and leather and metal rather than plastics. Even if they're "recyclable". When I look out at my 21 year old jalopy in the drive, it's sobering to consider, for me at least, that half of all plastics ever made have been produced since it rolled off the production line. Half. That's a staggering statistic. Wood can be made carbon neutral, leather is a byproduct of meat production(vegans faint) and most metals are much easier and economically worthwhile to actually recycle.

    The batteries are a bit of a worry, at the moment anyway. Their production is environmentally expensive and contain a few rare elements. Something like only 5% of Li-ion batteries are currently being recycled, though that should change as it becomes more economic. Supply of things like cobalt is even more problematic both at an environmental and human cost. The chief source is the stuff is the remarkably misleadingly named Democratic Republic of the Congo.

    Still, you can't go wrong with a car that farts. Deliberately.

      2 years ago
    • I think large battery modules are far more likely to get recycled or repurposed vs small packs such as portable chargers and laptop batteries as there is better economy of scale. People turn used battery modules into home made powerwalls...

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        2 years ago
    • From what I've read on it Chris getting cobalt and other metals like nickel from the batteries is doable and will become more so as the economics get better, but lithium is the difficult one. Repurposing is certainly a very good short/medium...

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        2 years ago