HAMMOND:I just pressed Send!!!

Richard Hammond (32) was involved in yet another car incident yesterday when his matchbox car he was driving fell off the road and caught fire.

Hammond (50) has tried to deny all knowledge of accusation he had secretly smuggled a Samsung phone into the car and had connected it to the on-board computer.

Derek Snobb-whaffle (85), the first person on the scene said he saw Mr Hammond (9) unplugging something from the car's cigar lighter and smuggling it into his pocket. He couldn't make it out but he said it looked really big compared to the tiny hands of Mr Hammond (94).

Fire expert Sir Peter Sizzle-Hotdog (40) said they are looking at a video that has been brought to his attention (thought to be a Monty Python Film), once he's watched it he's going to look at some camera footage of the car and will be speaking to anyone directly involved.

Mr Hammon (103) just before he told us to go away when we questioned him about the phone scandal


As the press is looking into this issue, it is starting to gain traction that the whole thing is about to be called the "Firegate Scandal". Samsmug said that connecting a Galaxy to the car shouldn't be an issue, with only a mild possibility of Salmonella. We pressed them again and denied they even make phones and ran off shouting, "You can't prove anything!!!"

Ok, I just pressed send

A quite from Mr Gammond (84), the driver of the vehicle

After we crept back into Mr Halfordsmond's hospital room while he was asleep we found the evidence we where looking for. We also found the phone too.

When we then woke Mr Hammond (42) and waved the phone in his face he confessed. He told us all he did was press send on the car's on-board computer screen to send a message to his two friends (to be confirmed they are) Mr James May (94) and Mrs Jeremy Clarksum (54), telling them he'd won and they had to buy him a soft drink in the bar because he doesn't had his ID with him to prove he's over 18.

On a lighter note, we wish Mr Richard Hammond (73) the quickest of recovery's and we didn't take any offence at the things he said to us as we left his hotel (hospital) room.