Horrendous Hummer H2 will leave you at a loss of words
How would you best describe it in one word?
When we were nine-year-olds, both mentally and physically, the Batmobile and 007’s gadget-brimmed cars played a huge role in instilling the idea of weaponising cars within us. So much so, that rocket launchers and long-barrelled guns must’ve been on every kid’s fantasy vigilante-mobile. But it turns out, one of us managed to turn his dream into reality, and the result is this. God have mercy on our eyes.
Behold this customised 2003 Hummer H2 that has been lifted, modded and built to address the guilty pleasures of a nine-year-old adult. In essence, its a Hot Wheels concept car that has been brought to life by Aim Industries and has received recognition for the same by getting featured on the cover of Truckin Magazine’s September 2004 edition. It would’ve been surprising if it didn’t receive a certain amount of fame.
The magazine people termed it as the ‘most insane crazy H2 ever’, and I have a feeling they wanted to stuff in more synonyms like outrageous, deranged, almost criminal but the cover only had space for so many words. How else would you describe a military vehicle that has been jacked up to defy it from being the one thing its carmaker desired it to be - civilised.
There are quite a few elements that deserve attention, so why not start from the ground up. 20-inch Weld Racing Dagger 8 wheels already provided the body with an unfitting appearance before the custom 18-inch suspension lift kit literally took it a notch higher. And don’t you dare to miss out on the missile-shaped side steps and the hood-mounted fake machine gun. Those were presumably the first bit of kit to get installed during its modification.
Inside, the yellow-grey cabin upholstery was devised to match the exterior custom paint job. However, it does come loaded with technology for a 2003 build by featuring a seven-inch retractable infotainment screen and individual screens for rear-seat passengers. And when you have something as outlandish as this, why won’t you equip your vehicle with six 10-inch subwoofers in a custom enclosure to announce your arrival. That’s basic standard II logic.
Both chrome and yellow can be found in abundance throughout this H2. But the one thing that was tough to find in surplus was buyers. Yes, the owner of this custom Hummer H2 had put his beloved car on sale at eBay and even after being on sale for a week, none of the bids, which went as high as $55,200, managed to meet the reserve of the listing, rendering the entire listing as void.
The H2’s listing claimed it to be ‘the baddest H2 ever built’ and I couldn’t agree more. But if you want a stylish, lifted, barge of a vehicle, wouldn’t this 6x6 Ford F-150 suit the bill better?