It's a magical place, Craigslist is. But is it magical enough to make any dream come true? This time around, I wasn't looking for a bottom-basement Miata, or a 'billy truck. To get what I needed, I'd truly have to test the limits of my negotiation skills, patience, and luck.
Nobility is Calling
I needed something that could easily crack 100 in the HOV lane while driving to work...alone. And forget four-wheel drive; that's for the serfs. Only all-wheel drive would do here. I needed space for the assortment of Crate and Barrel shit I'd surely start buying. Halogen headlights? Fuck no. Give me auto-leveling HIDs and and Bluetooth. Shit, give me air-ride suspension and an auto tranny smooth enough to keep me from spilling my glass of Louis XIII. It was time to join the kings of the urban jungle.
Image Credit: carwallpapers.ru
For the experiment to work, there could be no cheating. That meant that credit was off the table entirely. Instead I'd have to dip into my very limited Craigslist fund, which currently sits in the form of a lifted Suburban on 35s. Fortunately, the kind folks at the Broke Swag Credit Union agreed to advance me the value of the black beast (for science of course). The only condition was that I sell the truck if a suitable replacement were found.
Starting with such little money chopped nearly all of my ideas off right at the knees. Originally I was quite keen on W211 Mercedes, but even the most clapped out examples were out of my price range. Other dreams that died right from the start: Range Rover Sport, 100 Series Land Cruiser, Lexus GX 470, 4th Gen Toyota 4Runner, and, last but not least, my personal happiness.
My White Knight
Then this happened.
"He might as well have just put his Bitcoin address in the ad, because I was sold."
"Runs like a champ", "rocketship", "hard stuff". This fucking guy. He might as well have just put his Bitcoin address in the ad, because I was sold. It didn't matter that it'd been driven around the Earth 14 times, or that it was on its third transmission. I'd found my shot at the automotive equivalent of a $2000 gaming laptop, and I was going to take it.
I showed my car friends with trepidation. "It's a V-8 BMW truck with 350,000 miles. Are you dumb or just fucking retarded?" is what I was expecting. Instead they all said the same thing: it's made it this far; go check it out.
I texted the seller only to receive no response. If I was this excited about this thing then surely others would be too. It was probably sold. But I couldn't go out like that, so I sent an email too, just to be safe.
Hello Nicholas. I’m working in town, so I could drive it in tomorrow. Otherwise, I should have some time Saturday. How about your schedule?
My heart fluttered with excitement. I didn't quite understand the response, but it confirmed that the truck was still available. Then the expectation management began. Though it looked clean in the advertisement, I'd seen a lot of used Bimmers in my time, and 90% of them were trash. Still, I had to at least rule this one out, lest I'd never forgive myself.
Be Impressed
To call the truck clean is an understatement. If God came down from the heavens himself and told me a 350K car could look like this, I'd call him a liar.
The gentleman selling the car was one of the more amicable people I'd ever met, despite the fact that I showed up nearly an hour late. When I put the X5 through my usual gamut of half-assed checks, what I found was almost unbelievable. This truck had actually been cared for...for the last 348,000 miles. Sure, it wasn't perfect, but it was pretty damn close.
It drove like it'd only been around the Earth thrice, which is to say excellently. The body and interior were nice and clean, and everything on it worked. Though I wanted to roll over and give him asking price, my conscience kept whispering in my ear, "It's a V-8 BMW truck with 350,000 miles. Are you dumb or just fucking retarded?"
I'll be honest; I almost walked away. It was everything I wanted, and the seller's asking price was within the budget I'd laid out for myself. Still, I've played this game before, and I wasn't going to take (as much of) a beating this time around. I put my hardball hat on, and boy did we play. And eventually we reached a price...way lower than what he was asking. I'm talking gaming laptop money here. I drove the whole way home in the HOV lane with a smile, and I still can't confirm that the blinkers work, because I've yet to use them.
Like that, I'd done it. I figured out how far a dollar could go on Craigslist. The answer? Enough to go around the Earth 14 times.
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Comments (3)
Great story Nick. Miss you here at the office.
Miss you guys too! Say hi to the gang for me.
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