How to Drive in Snow and Ice

Professional driving Tipps professionally delivered by a professional

1y ago

8.1K

Hi, you're reading this because you were drawn here by my mind control. And in the next few sentences you're going to learn how to become a professional snow racer, on par with Mika Häkkinen... or Jesus.

First off, remember "T.IT.S.", commonly known as "Take IT Slow". Driving on snow and ice isn't like driving on a conventional wet surface. Imagine having a layer of tire lube between the road surface and your cars contact surface.

Second, remember to keep your distance! You need to keep your distance from everything ahead, just like my ex wife, Shirley! STOP SLASHING MY TIRES YOU PSYCHO B**CH.

It takes on average 5x longer to stop on snow, than it does on a conventional wet surface, like urine, or water so keep at least 10 seconds distance to the car in front.

Next- remember if you have "ABS" let that do all the breaking, if you decide you need to become stationary quickly, don't fight the ABS. ABS stands for "Alternative Baking Society", they make a great carrot cake and will kick your A**. However in automotive terms, "ABS" stands for "Antilock Breaking System" and it prevents the wheels from locking up, which will help you stop faster.

If you don't have "ABS" then you need to pump the breaks. If you have to break fast then push the pedal down completely, multiple times rapidly.

If you look further down you'll find my video that actually compares ABS vs NON ABS. Enjoy!

Next up remember to NEVER pee into the wind! Also never break in a corner, because your wheel will become a snow plow and the only place you'll go is heaven. Honestly - never ever break in a corner on ice or snow. Rather control your crash and steer in the direction you want to go.

The next super pro driving tip is don't break when your car gets in a slide, take your foot off the accelerator and steer in the exact direction you want to go, remember to be quick about it too because it happens at the blink of an eye. Just the other day I found myself in this exact sittuation, luckily however, I managed to fix the slide just in time but I wasnt able to fix the seat...or my pants.....or my underpants...

The last step is get good tires. The better the grip, the more likely you are to not die, basically. Remember to always use good rubber!

And if you would rather watch me talk than read this, enjoy this educational video below.

Thanks for reading, follow me for more!

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Comments (3)

  • I can't even look at one of your video's without laughing... Cheers speed camparer.

      1 year ago
  • Informative and hilarious!!!!!

      1 year ago
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