Okay, so I was being a bit clickbaity there. I’m not one of those foolish Millennials who whines, “I’m entitled to my opinion, so stop judging” - forgetting of course that just as they’re entitled to their opinion, I’m entitled to my opinion that their opinion is rubbish.
But I am in dead earnest about the PT Cruiser. I can't go on pretending otherwise.
I've liked it deep down ever since I was about 7, when an asphalt grey PT Cruiser came up the street while I was on my bike, but it's something I've never wanted to confront. Because admitting you like the PT Cruiser in motoring circles is like being a respected member of a book club and then letting fly one evening that you reckon the Hobbit movie was ten thousand times better than the book.
And so I fully understand – and respect – that I will be judged. But before you do, let me give a plea why I love Chrysler’s little retro car.
That's not going to fit, Brandon.
IT'S NOT BORING
In DriveTribe debates about the worth of cars, I often come back to that Oscar Wilde quote, “It’s absurd to divide people into good or bad. People are either charming or tedious” and if you’re about to say, “Some say it actually wasn’t Oscar Wilde who said that” – then let me remind you that the kind of people who question whether Shakespeare really wrote Macbeth or Bach actually composed Toccata are amongst the most tedious people in the world.
Point is, it’s absurd to divide cars into good or bad. Cars are either charming or tedious.
And I’m not going to push my luck and argue that the PT Cruiser is charming. But I am going to say that there’s plenty of noughties hatchbacks that we don’t care enough to talk about. So it isn’t tedious.
There’s something about its distinctive, 1940s-esque retro styling that just makes it a bit appealing. Sort of like a MINI, or a VW New Beetle, but American.
And I have to admit I like it in Woody form most of all.
WE'VE ALL DESPISED IT FAR TOO MUCH
There comes a point, after you’ve yelled at a dog so much, that you begin to feel a bit guilty. It's like that with the Chrysler PT Cruiser. It’s one of those terms in the motoring world like Prius and New TopGear. Nothing positive can ever surround it.
The trouble is, I don’t think the Chrysler PT Cruiser was ever a bad dog. I think it was a slightly silly, but cute dog who a few people pushed away. And the rest of us simply did the same.