I Want To Build A Car
Marcus' guide to excuses on why the prospect of creation with automotive is ridiculously attractive but oh so impractical.
It's December, it's 5 days until Christmas (in Australia), and I'm currently begging people for extra time to do things like buy Christmas presents and drive an hour to Melbourne to order a Christmas ham which I will need to subsequently glaze (I'm thinking like a honey mustard glaze this year, feel free to leave ham glaze suggestions below).
Here's the thing, I hate time. Time is constantly working against me. I spend my entire life attempting to make time my b*tch but honestly I still haven't figured that one out. I think the problem is I actually say yes way too often. "Do you want to go for drinks tonight?" Yes. "Can you quickly go to the supermarket and get some broccoli?" Yes. "Whilst you're there do you mind figuring out what a true mathematical representation of gravity is in a separate universe?" If you guessed that I said yes to that question, you'd be unequivocally right.
There's a reason I'm whinging about time today. It's because this morning whilst doing my normal quiet time bathroom peruse (don't judge me, you do it too). I managed to watch a whole two minutes of Ken Block's new Gymkhana video (yes, I've left a link too it right below).
Two things: one - Ken Block is insanely skilled and cool. I mean I'm highly trained on and off track but this guy is close to clairvoyant. Two - this video features two immensely frustrating cars. Both are once again insanely cool and brilliant, but ridiculously frustrating. The Ford F100 (Hoonitruck) and the Ford Escort Cosworth RS Sierra (Ken Block's current North American Rally Car and play thing). These cars are frustrating because I want these cars, I want them desperately.
Problem isn't that I can't afford either of them, because I can. Problem also isn't that I couldn't afford to rebuild one of these, because I can. Problem also isn't that I don't know how, I'm not a mechanic but I do have a longish career in automotive and have done enough work to cars to do that myself as well. So what is the problem?
You see if you buy either of those cars, or any classic car which is fantastic as a classic or even better with your own custom mark on it, you need to tune it (NEED). And the problem with tuning, rebuilding, painting, designing a car like that (especially if you're a perfectionist like I am), it takes time. I don't have time.
My day goes a bit like this: 6am - get up and go rowing or go to gym (cause if I don't keep this rig in shape, I'm going to be worrying about the guy she told me not to worry about), 8am - go to work, make sure someone a) hasn't broken in overnight and stolen all cars or b) someone hasn't burnt a bunch of our dealerships down, 12pm - eat lunch at desk reading Drivetribe, 4pm (on a Friday) watch Formula 1 practice at desk whilst still working, 5:30pm - get home and clean up after furry but adorable daughter who has normally chewed up a pair of shoes or book in my absence, 6pm - take said daughter for walk, 7:30pm - cook dinner for normally ridiculously tired and hangry partner, 8:30pm - sit down and watch Real House Wives of Melbourne against will, 9pm - get woken up by girlfriend who pokes me until I wake up so I can move to bed and finally be rested.
Yeah I know it's boring, but it does have variance, good variance of course. But problem is it's not variance that includes a matte black Ford F100 custom. One that I can take out of the garage on Sunday morning and drive down to Queencliff, really uncomfortably, but it's 30 minutes per week and it puts a smile on my face.
So here's my thought, the only way I and every other enthusiast out there gets their way. We collectively walk out of the workshop/OEM or Dealerships we work in and use the payout to get our own way...... nope, nope that definitely wouldn't work.
Look, I don't mean this to be such a whinge fest, but it really is. Automotive is this beautiful, creative, engaging industry that other people who want their Volkswagen Multivan or Honda CRV ruin. Shows like SEMA, Motorclassica or even much closer to home for me, The Geelong Revival, embrace this passion in the industry. But I constantly find myself becoming envious of attendance to these international high profile concours (that is technically what they are) not just because I want to go, I do go to most of them. But I want to be involved. In any way. I've always been told there's no point in waiting for an opportunity, because opportunities don't ask you if you want to take them up. You have to hunt them down like a Navy SEAL.
Maybe it's time for a career change, maybe it's time to become a Hoonigan, ditch a suit and wear a hoodie every day. Oh well, who knows, new year new me right?