If 5 of the world's most recognisable politicians were cars
Today I wish to stir up a hornet's nest
Firstly, I'd like to put any anxious minds to rest as I declare that I will make sure to be 'kind' and 'considerate' and 'unoffensive' and 'inclusive', in making sure that I include politicians from all political standings, left and right in today's post which by the way, is actually supposed to include a little bit of this fun stuff that people used to enjoy.
So please, put down the placards for five minutes and just enjoy a little fun-poking, at all of the clowns running the world at the moment.
Kamala Harris: Dodge Viper (but it's the first gen one)
The Viper fits California Harris like glue for two reasons. One, because it sounds incredibly irritating. The low speed soundtrack is very poor if you ask me. And two, because it isn't very economical, unfortunately meaning that while you might be able to make it to a nice banquet, you won't reach the US border for love nor money.
Still, you can always laugh it off.
Boris Johnson: Morris Marina
I can already see big boots Boris featuring in Transformers, wow-ing viewers as he performs a miraculous change of form into the mighty Morris Marina, which isn't very mighty at all. Neither Boris nor the Marina are very attractive, nor do they deliver on anything they are supposed to. But what links them both together best I think, is that they are the most appalling thing to happen to British industry since..... well since British industry became a thing.
Joe Biden: Fiat Panda
The Fiat Panda is very frail, as shown by all the famous videos of it scoring 0 stars in safety tests. It's also mildly unreliable and on the modern market, completely outdated. So naturally it'd have to be ol' Joe who we honour this car with. Honestly I'd imagine the Panda wouldn't be too great ascending the steps of Air Force One either so this must be a solid choice.
Emmanuel Macron: Citroen 2CV
The French president's very concerning glare can only be matched by the look offered by the Citroen 2CV. Brought together by the fact that both are quite dangerous when they are given power, it is no wonder they match so well. Oh and even more fittingly, both have very short dimensions too!
Angela Merkel: Kia Soul EV
Christ alive, if you thought Macron was a moody looking yoke, sit down for this one. Only the 'I am so done with y'all' expression of the passive aggressive Kia Soul could match the poker faced German Chancellor. Often referred to as 'overall quite drab', the Soul makes an ideal car version of Merkel and her lifeless presence in the modern world.
So that's the lot!
If you'd like to throw your hat in the ring with some of your own politicians and their respective cars, I'd love nothing more than to browse your selections in the comments section. But remember keep your wig on down there, there's very little dignity in political arguments on Drivetribe of all places.
Otherwise hope you had some fun and thank you for reading!