Time to get your tin foil, call Scully and Mulder because it is time for our first edition of Really Out There Conspiracy Theory Time. It surrounds Ferrari and a series of strange events that befell them at the Malaysian Grand Prix. This could just be a series of unfortunate coincidences but the more I thought about it the more things didn't add up. So I have come to the rock solid-ish conclusion that Ferrari was up to no good in Malaysia and did an absolutely masterful job covering it up.

Why did Vettel and Raikkonen suffered the exact same engine failure?

That is a bit odd given these engines have run in this configuration for a while now (a while in the lifespan of an F1 engine that is) Sure parts fail on race engines all the time, but it is a little interesting that the same failure would effect both cars. This leads me to believe that Ferrari could have been up to some unsanctioned engine upgrading. Usually these sort of double failures occur when testing out new parts. Ferrari could have disguised the parts as the old ones and tried to gain any advantage they could given the fact that the Championship was slipping through their grasp. If you don't think things like this happen in motorsport then you haven't been paying attention. There is a reason the prhase "If you ain't cheatin you ain't tryin" is well know within motorsports.

Why did Vettel suddenly lose pace to Ricciardo?

If you watched the tail end of the race (if you're reading this I am assuming you did) you will have noticed Vettel was gaining on Ricciardo at a fairly good clip only seemingly suddenly drop back, almost content with 4th place. Now this could be explaind by the tires going off after so many laps pushing to make up ground. It could be Ferrari trying to save their equipment. Or... Ferrari could have had more nefarious motives. In Formula 1 the podium finishers' cars are subject to more thorough inspection after the race. Could be Ferrari didn't want to risk the FIA going through their car with a fine tooth comb. Perhaps they were hiding something that a cursory inspection wouldn't uncover.

How the Hell does a 4 time World Champion crash AFTER the race?

Here's where things get properly out there but bear with me. What if finishing 4th wasn't enough to ease Ferrari's minds? What if the were still worried that their shady mods would still be discovered? So they decided to have Vettel purposely wreck the car. After all the cool down lap is done at slower speeds so it would be easy and relatively safe to crash the car. Why choose Stroll as the unfortunate collateral damage recipient? Because a solo crash would raise too many suspicions. If you watch the on-board footage from Stroll's car you will notice that as soon as he realizes Vettel is there he tries to avoid him to no avail. Which raises yet another question, What the Hell was Vettel doing passing people on the cool down lap??? If you are looking for the text book definition of unnecessary, that is it. It doesn't make sense.

Sure Stroll is a rookie but we are talking about Sebastian Vettel, a man who has won the World Driver's Championship 4 times. He is one of the very best behind the wheel, he is also one of the very best at blaming everyone else for his mishaps. This makes him the perfect man for the job. Surly a post race accident would be the fault of the rookie not the 4 time champ. Sprinkle in some classic Vettel whining add in a "What the hell is he doing" and there you go. But why crash in the first place, what were they trying to hide? My conclusion, in addition to some shady engine mods Ferrari was running underweight. You literally need only a scale to check that out so fearing they were going to get caught, boom, crash the car. Crashed cars aren't subject to being weighed, job done.

Like I said this could all be a series of unfortunate coincidences. Ferrari could have been way above board and just got dealt some really bad luck in Malaysia. This could all be the result of me being raised not to trust Ferrari. After all these are the guys who for years bullied the FIA into rule changes. So my trust level of Ferrari isn't that high to begin with. What do you think? Do you agree or do you think I have gotten into the breakfast whiskey a little too hard this morning? Breakfast whiskey is a thing right?

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