IN AND OUT IN OVER AN HOUR

OR "WHY MY WHOLE BODY STILL ACHES"

Last weekend, my friends and I attended my best mate's birthday party. White wine was served, which is a bad choice to start with. A row about SUVs then appeared out of thin air. The birthday boy was more than against my point of view regarding the magnificent Range Rover, claiming that they're unreliable and rubbish.

I adore them. I also adore the Volvo XC90 and I sort of like the Jaguar F-Pace - not to be mistaken with the I-Pace. Anyway, after hours of debating, we ended with the unforeseeable conclusion that we're never going to agree on many, many things.

How can you not love this beauty?

How can you not love this beauty?

The bar eventually ran out of wine and customers and ourselves were forced to leave. The night then got even worse, because we found out our ride home was a Citroën C4 Cactus. It can't go downhill from here, we thought. Oh, but how wrong we were...

Three guys, including me, all wearing our hair about 1.90 meters above the ground, had to cram in the back of that plant-named, plastic-wearing vehicle. My friends eventually managed to get in and then came my turn. I approached the Cactus with godly confidence. I was in, but my feet weren't. I tried once again, but only one of my feet was inside. Eventually, after many kicks in the back of the front seat and cuss words directed towards me, I managed to enter the car.

I was in, but my feet weren't.

I spent the whole ride touching my left shoulder with my nose. Again, I thought the night could not get any worse. Our friend, the driver, made a left turn and, when she did so, the guy which was sitting to my left instantly collapsed over me. In retrospective, a skyscraper or a dam would have been much nicer.

Anyhow, we managed to get home. But in order to leave the car, which I very much wanted to do as quickly as possible, I had to reach for the door handle. After about ten minutes and a sprain, I managed to open it and immediately hired a crane to pull me out.

In all honesty, I have the same problem with my car. Fortunately for me, I'm the driver, but behind me an ant wouldn't be able to sit comfortably. Which sort of makes the vehicle a coupé and gives it a peculiar joie de vivre.

Word is that the Spanish or German people of Seat will be releasing a new version of the Ibiza. My thoughts on it is that it looks rather well - many interesting corners and shapes on such a small car. It's brilliant and I immediately fell in love with it. I reckon it'll be great fun to drive as well. My only hope is that this car won't have the previously mentioned issue.

Both chemistry and anatomy.

Both chemistry and anatomy.

Photo Credits: www.autocar.co.uk, www.carsintrend.com, www.netcarshow.com

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Comments (2)

  • A great read, and I must say I agree with your views on the Range Rover and Jaguar F-Pace - punishable by death in many car-enthusiast quarters...

      4 years ago
2