In its 'Prime'

A key word for the new Toyota Prius, which I forbid you from hating.

We start with a two day old anecdote.

One day, little Aaron was in his Citroen Grand C4 Spacetourer on his merry way to a hospital in the Irish Capital, when in the corner of his eyes, brighter than the north star that led the wise men to the bibi jeesus all those years ago, shone the red LED letters of T O Y O T A.

Simply put, it was a shabby old Toyota dealership on the side of a main road in the busiest part of the country. Not very exciting is it? But wait. Little Aaron's eye also had time to clock sight of something else. Deep within the reflective glass panes of the pretty little building sat something truly epic. Something which would shape his outlook on the world's largest car manufacturer forever. It was......this:


God save the queen! It's the 2021 or 2022 idk yet Toyota Prius!!! Now you may be wondering, 'Dude what is wrong with you it's an ugly old Toyota'. Well if you're american you'll be wondering that. For anyone else just minus the 'dude' and you'll be on your way. Oh wait the japanese.....they'll be wondering 'Anata no nani ga warui no ka, sore wa minikui furui Toyotada'. I think my excitement for this new era of Prius stems from a look back at once was a time where this car was just 'ugly'. The call for celebration therefore comes as the so called hatchback but more of a deformed saloon transforms from 'ugly', to 'just a little ugly'. I am fascinated by this car. It is not fast or interesting or breath taking with its beauty. In fact if it takes any breath away it most probably isn't for a good reason. It has sold so many millions of units in its utterly controversial life. The Toyota-ians never caved to the memes and the bonfires and the anti-sentiment and to this day have provided a good car serving a good purpose and at long last have managed to incorporate style into the overall equation.

What matters most to me is that they didn't try too hard to make it nice though. It is still incredibly divisive from top to bottom, front bumper to rear. The love it or hate it (mostly hate it I have found) links to the car have not only been ideal for afvertising the name, but for giving it a character. You see......

It's all very wrong with the Prius:

Take the side view for example.

This is the Kim Kardashian of cars. I know that sounds absolutely ridiculous doesn't it. But look how weird it is the further back you go. So heavy and high up and stuck out all over the place. It's odd and rather funny looking.

See the lights too.

Totally bizarre. So round in the centre and then you stick out to the side and it's a big sharp point that leads the lights back inwards again. Round, yet pointy? Very different and while yes, I do concede that is genuinely just unattractive, I find it perfectly fitting and almost likable given its place in the world. The computer mouse car has gained further complexity that does appeal to a small minority of us who do appreciate the ideology of all things weird and wrong.

However, you've seen nothing yet. The wrongest of the wrongest of the most wrong things ever is hidden away inside, tucked onto the dashboard in the most unconventional and aesthetically challenging position known to man. Feast you eyes, on this...............

Why have they purpsely pushed everything off centre. That seems very un-japanese. I'm okay with it, but one does wonder would that change if one ended up on the driveway mysteriously someday. I mean it's quite fun, among other things.

Are we once again reverting to the age old tradition of celebrating mediocrity?

No. WE aren't doing anything, because I would hesitate to suggest this affection towards the changed Prius is very much restricted to a 'personal' affair. I am basically saying it's funny, I like it, well done Toyota, and be on your merry way. I do think despite my acceptance of the fact that sadly you all are entitled to your wrong opinions, the cult against the car may be diminishing the further this taxi-destined boredom provider lives on. Because Toyota's refreshes have upped the game everytime. It may be time to bow out if we see a few more generations, because soon we may have a very acceptable thing altogether.

I'm no philosopher so there's little more I can add. Thanks for wasting more of your time on me and my attempt to make something of myself. Please do go wild in the comments if your blood is boiling so badly, I look forward to it.


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