It's not even fucking foggy!

Do you own a shit car?

Does it have the bare minimum spec available?

Are you a moron?

Great news! Your car can look like an executive saloon with DRLs if you just flick this switch. Be the envy of all your friends because you've got blinding lights attached to the front of your vehicle. Men will want to be you, women will want to sleep with you and other road users will flash you to let you know you're the don.

The dickhead switch

Seriously. Fog lights. The automotive equivalent of nipping to the job centre in your Burberry cap (do they still even make those?), picking up your JSA, 20 Sterling and a packet of fish fingers from Iceland.

What must go through the mind of people who drive with their fog lights on at all times? Do they think it looks good? Are they stupid enough to think that the cars with cornering lights and DRLs are actually just other people using their fog lights?

This evening, crawling along the M60 carpark I was behind a car that was using their fog lights like DRLs, only this satchel had their rear one on too, burning its outline into my retina - like one of those negative images of Jesus people post on FaceTube requesting you to stare at for 30 seconds then look at a wall and blink to see.

After several high beam flashes, honks on the horn and some choice hand gestures, they realised the error of their ways only to turn them back on and wave to me after I'd pulled onto the slip road like they'd got one over on me. All I can hope is that at some point natural selection will do its job.

If you're reading this and thinking "but they do look good though"...DIE.

Join in

Comments (3)
  • Can't stand people who constantly have their fog lights on, seems to always be either Insignias or BMWs

    1 year ago
  • Oh god, HIDs are the fucking worst.

    1 year ago

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