James May Reviews Silence

SOMEWHERE IN ENGLAND- James May has had a day without his annoying and aggravating coworkers. May has spent the day smoking a pipe and reading on his front porch. According to Bee reporters, he basked in the silence for hours on end and enjoyed the serenity of the moment. May adored this time by himself and he was able to enjoy himself for a few short hours before he received a phone call from The Orangutan himself.

"It was a brilliant time," May told Bee reporters later "Pinky and Perky left me alone for a few hours and I got some quality me time. Clarkson, the infantile pillock, interrupted me with a phone call later and all he had to say was 'POWAAA'. After Clarkson hung up, it was quiet and the silence allowed me to collect my thoughts. Silence is extremely underrated and people need to take advantage of it. I greatly enjoy it."

At publishing time, May was unfortunately unable to sit in silence any longer as he was called into the Grand Tour offices to work in noise with Clarkson and Hammond. May had to resign to the fact that he would be annoyed all day by the two noisy men. May did, however, decline to comment on the state of the noise that Clarkson and Hammond gave. We can assume it was so bad that even James May would not be able to describe it.

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