Knee steering for short people

1y ago

2.7K

Knee steering is helpful when you want to open a bottle, unwrap a sandwich, or when you flip off another driver while drinking from the already mentioned bottle.

There are a few voices who call it dangerous, and to an extend I agree. If you try to knee steer while navigating an alpine road you might not necessarily end up in a ditch, but fall down the mountain instead. However, when it's a dead straight, and everything is calculated there is very little harm in knee steering your car while you open a water bottle - add disclaimer here.

It's very useful, or so I have been told. Since I am too short to knee steer, my knees do not live anywhere near the steering wheel. In fact I am so tiny that when I wear jeans they usually cover my foot as well. I would find a submarine's roof tall. I was able to stand on the seat of an aeroplane and didn't hit my head. In fact I am smaller than Martin Freeman which means that I am smaller than a Hobbit. Clarkson and I would NOT fit on the same photo. It would be his chins and the top of my head. All of this means that I have never been able to knee steer.

This tool is forever lost on me.

HOW TINY ARE YOU?!

Someone abnormally tall

OR IS IT?

Now you may think that I should simply tuck my knees closer to my body, which is fair enough. I did try this – while parked, in case anyone asks – but it would leave my legs completely in the air. This means the only place to secure my legs would be on this woobly round thing that moves about which doesn't sound too clever. On top of that it's uncomfortable as well.

Neither can I quickly adjust the steering wheel when the need to knee steer arises. I would have to adjust it to what is known as the floor, do whatever I have to do, and then bring it back to the usual position. That sounds like too much work.

Luckily, the best idea came to me a moment later. It works for children, then why shouldn't it work for someone who's body couldn't be bothered to grow more: a booster seat.

I would pop it in the car, sit on it all the time and then finally I could knee steer. There was only a small fault in this solution: I am one of the few people who's legs are the same length as their arms. This means I wouldn't be able to decently reach the pedals any more …

Then there would be no need for knee steering: If I am not able to go anywhere, I won't need to steer.

I don't need to reach the pedals to drive, right?

By the end of the day, I had to admit that I am short. I will never knee steer. But I comforted myself that it's not all bad, because at the same time I will never hit head my head on anything. And yet, even short people have a need for opening bottles, or holding something while they flip off others.

Luckily, I have found a solution to that: You stick a thing between your legs.

No, not like that. (Admittedly it depends on your mood.) Since you are practically scaled you have to use those little things that claim to be legs!

They are your weapons, they transport you from place to place, held you up most of your life, are perfect cat pillows, and stretch brilliantly when you reach for something high. The water bottle has a nice place between them as well. So you hold it there while one hand keeps the car on the street. Then you can open all the bottles in the world! Furthermore you can use it to keep other things in a snug pl---

Okay, that's enough. You get the idea

[Cat.: #Solution ]

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Comments (4)
  • Hmm, sadly this means when you don't have to knee steer your drive with your knees around your chin. But I haven't even considered pedal extenders, so good thinking!

    1 year ago
    1 Bump
  • how about pedal extenders and a booster seat, like people with dewarfism, as for people with dewarfism, do 2sets work?

    1 year ago
    1 Bump

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