- photo from some Lexus commercial

DENVER, COLORADO- Todd Reynolds drove home from his Christmas shopping this weekend. He, like a typical man, had left all of his Christmas shopping for his wife until the last possible second. When Reynolds had arrived to the local shopping mall to begin his annual scavenger hunt for things his wife might enjoy, he was at a loss. However, he rounded the corner and saw something on the other side of the building that he knew was perfect for his wife. It wasn't jewelry, fancy clothes, her favorite perfume or makeup, it was a Lexus IS. Reynolds immediately put a down payment on it and paid for a delivery to his house on Christmas day.

When Bee writers heard about Reynolds' impulse buy, they rushed to his middle class home and questioned him about his reasoning. "I mean, she would totally want it. She always talks about her car isn't that great," Reynolds told Bee reporters. Upon being asked how he was going to break the news to his wife, Reynolds responded with "Hey honey, I made a major purchase without your input that will totally affect our lives and credit scores! Enjoy!" Bee writers were baffled at this man's stupidity on this situation, and quickly left his home.

It is unknown if Reynolds will survive this Christmas, and frankly, we Driving Bee writers can't be bothered to see if he will because he brought this upon himself. All of humanity is now looking on Reynolds in disbelief and thinking "Why didn't he buy her a Mercedes C class instead?"

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In case ya’ll are too stupid to understand, this is satire. I don’t know why I have to put this here, but apparently people want it here, cause if ya’ll don’t know that it is satire, ya’ll might think it is real. So in case you idjits can’t tell a joke from the real thing, maybe take a class on sarcasm and critical thinking, or just READ THE DAMN TRIBE DESCRIPTION!

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