Man buys book on-line
Will soon be reading it with his iBalls.
In a curious collision of technologies representing seven centuries of human progress, a man in a second-hand shirt in Hammersmith has used ‘the internet’ to buy a print edition of a book about racing cars that was delivered to his house by a real human being in a diesel-powered van.
An excitable James May told Carbolics, ‘I once met Adrian Newey at an event. We talked very briefly about some tiny aspect of aerodynamics and then moved on to trivia.’
He continued, ‘But now look. A whole lump of Adrian Newey, delivered with a resounding crump to my doormat by Amazon Prime (who also offer streaming video, music, and more etc). This book is a staggering 37mm thick, or 1 15/32 inches.
‘I’m resisting the urge to start reading, because I want to save this for a forthcoming flight to the US. It will stop me drinking, and will be even more effective than my Clarkson-cancelling headphones at ensuring in-flight privacy.’
But he went on to admit, ‘It’s difficult. Just fanning the pages to check for acceptable new-book smell, the terms ‘Gurney Flap’ and ‘Coanda Effect’ spiralled vortex-like from the leaves and found the backs of my eyeballs wanting. And look at the lovely diagrams.
‘I can’t wait.’
The long dreary hours of international jet-setting will rush by
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Comments (99)
"and will be even more effective than my Clarkson-cancelling headphones at ensuring in-flight privacy."
You wish. He'll start by complaining about the cabin temperature which, unless your headphones go up to 11, is un-ignorable then move on to telling you every ten seconds that he went to school with Adrian, who copied his physics homework. When he doesn't get a bite he'll enlist Hamster or Sniff to tag-team irritate you. If you try to fall asleep, one of them will take a grainy picture of you, probably clutching a prosthetic phallus that one of them smuggled aboard for the opportunity, and post it to Twitter.
You really have to accept that aeroplane journeys are your own personal hell.
You may have a point.
I bet you will give in, you can't be that strong
This is the most James May book to ever exist.
As an alternative to the Clarkson cancelling headphones, or indeed this book, have you considered just not travelling with Clarkson? This sort of book porn is to be enjoyed during those those private moments in your shed. After all you might be tempted to take your tools out on the plane, and the flight crew might not be very happy about that.
😱 Barbara! 😆
Better than ‘wholesome‘.
No, it won’t work. As we’ve recently discovered, Jeremy is only contracted to travel by plane if he’s wearing his non-monogrammed beige Emirates pyjamas. So you’ll obviously need your patented Clarkson Cancelling Eye Patches too. And how are you gonna read your book then?
Can you exchange it for an audio version, or take a difference flight?