Motorized Therapy: Getting fast and furious in the hills above Salt Lake City

(Author's Note: 𝘏𝘦𝘭𝘭𝘰 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘸𝘦𝘭𝘤𝘰𝘮𝘦 𝘵𝘰 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘧𝘰𝘶𝘳𝘵𝘩 𝘤𝘩𝘢𝘱𝘵𝘦𝘳 𝘪𝘯 "𝘔𝘰𝘵𝘰𝘳𝘪𝘻𝘦𝘥 𝘛𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘢𝘱𝘺," 𝘢 𝘳𝘰𝘢𝘥 𝘵𝘳𝘪𝘱 𝘴𝘵𝘰𝘳𝘺 𝘧𝘰𝘤𝘶𝘴𝘦𝘥 𝘭𝘦𝘴𝘴 𝘰𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘥𝘦𝘴𝘵𝘪𝘯𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯𝘴 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘮𝘰𝘳𝘦 𝘰𝘯 𝘧𝘪𝘯𝘥𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘮𝘺𝘴𝘦𝘭𝘧 𝘢𝘧𝘵𝘦𝘳 𝘮𝘰𝘯𝘵𝘩𝘴 𝘰𝘧 𝘮𝘦𝘯𝘵𝘢𝘭 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘦𝘮𝘰𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯𝘢𝘭 𝘸𝘰𝘦𝘴. 𝘐 𝘩𝘰𝘱𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘤𝘰𝘮𝘮𝘶𝘯𝘪𝘵𝘺 𝘦𝘯𝘫𝘰𝘺𝘴 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘴𝘰𝘮𝘦𝘰𝘯𝘦 𝘮𝘢𝘺 𝘧𝘪𝘯𝘥 𝘴𝘰𝘭𝘢𝘤𝘦 𝘪𝘯 𝘮𝘺 𝘸𝘰𝘳𝘥𝘴.)

Two days after the apocalyptic disasterfuck of a rainstorm that engulfed the entire Salt Lake region, the rain had waned just enough for inhabitants to finally have dry tarmac again. After a couple nights out connecting with friends who call this place home, it was finally time to piece together our little crew like a clichéd heist. The capstone to my entire trip would soon take form, and I couldn't have asked for a better group of people to do it with.

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Rear-wheel drive on summer tires in on a cold, wet canyon road? Yeah, that sounds safe.

For months, Utah backroads have been described to me by numerous friends as hidden driving utopias; alpine passes far from Europe or canyon roads stolen from Cali. They had coaxed me here with romanticized tales of switchbacks darting among the trees and connecting small town to small town in an array that makes for a near-infinite combination of routes. After a brief taste in suboptimal conditions, I can confirm that those tales were no bullshit. Utah two-lanes are something to behold, and I couldn't wait to attack them on a proper day.

Outside a rustic waffle house, our cut-rate Fast & Furious crew had assembled. Nearly all of them were old friends I've either exclusively known online or just haven't seen in ages. What a hell of a reunion it was. The man who enticed me here, Gavin Pouquette, brought his lightly-modified Ford Fiesta ST on lovely Fifteen52 Delta Integrale wheels. Easily a favorite among anyone, a Fiesta is an easy-to-love choice for the kind of driving we had in mind. Facebook group chat meme god, Randall, always having to one-up the field, took the reigns of his Hyundai Veloster N rocking a set of 18-inch Enkei wheels, a tasteful change-up from the arguably oversized 19-inchers. A friend of Randall and Gavin's and a new face to me, Leo flexed on us all with a Lotus Elise coated in a vivid yellow that playfully contrasts with my Mustang in both color and size.

Talk about a diverse lineup. We have nearly every configuration of car here aside from something automatic.

Talk about a diverse lineup. We have nearly every configuration of car here aside from something automatic.

More intriguing to our crowd, my old high school friend, Josh, showed off his FA24-swapped Subaru WRX. Using a deceased Subaru Ascent's motor to replace the blown factory FA20, it's essentially a preview of what to expect from the next WRX much in the same spirit as when Nissan shoehorned the Infiniti Q60's V6 into the now-defunct 370Z chassis. On its current "conservative" tune, it's reportedly making 368 horsepower to the wheels easily outclassing all the cars here, but as we'd soon see, we had more than enough chassis to make up for it resulting in plenty of cat-and-mouse chases.

We didn't quite go balls-to-the-wall race pace, but it's still safe to say that we had some wicked match-ups in the canyons.

The gang's all here.

The gang's all here.

Boy howdy, was it a hell of a day. With the roads dry and bright skies, we blitzed the curves at a pace I wouldn't normally dare back home (but still safe and within reason, of course). The force-inducted compacts made their advantages at altitude apparent, but I wouldn't let them go in the corners. Back and forth, the gaps between one another widened and narrowed as the roads kinked and unwound. Headache-inducing Gs were the order of the day as tires began to howl and rev limiters were pounded on.

Gavin's Fiesta ST took point with Randall's Veloster N hot on his tail. They both flexed their agility in every hairpin with their bounties of torque rocketing them out of each bend. For them, this drive was easy. The Lotus and I had to work a bit more just to keep up as our naturally-aspirated mills huffed and puffed for power in among these cascading hills around East Canyon and Park City. I was in an unfamiliar environment and Leo, having just acquired his Lotus, was commandeering an unfamiliar platform.

Josh's WRX put up quite the fight too. With all that power of his on tap, he was easily the quickest car out of corners, however, his stock suspension, tire, and brake setup meant he was hampered in the twisties. I took advantage of every opportunity to widen the gap between him and me. The Mustang slingshots around bends knowing that WRX would quickly close the gap as soon as he got another clear view of the horizon.

These cars all got a good workout in. My car probably got the hardest workout it will ever get this side of a road course.

These cars all got a good workout in. My car probably got the hardest workout it will ever get this side of a road course.

Most impressively, of all the cars to get into a game of tag with, I never lost sight of Leo's Elise with whom I occupied the middle of the convoy. His snappy gearing and lighter weight meant he could accelerate out of corners with a slight edge over me, but I unbelievably clung to his ass end like a fly to shit. At a pull-off near the end of the canyon road, he climbed out and walked over to meticulously scan my car and its setup.

"What the hell is on this thing," Leo asked. Granted, he was a new owner testing an unfamiliar car on older tires whereas this has been my car to learn for years and rolling on fresh Michelins which we both attributed to the outcome. He'd probably be faster now as he's been able to get better acquainted with his car, but still. To keep pace with an experienced driver in a purpose-built sports car with my glorified rental car? I'll take that award and the confidence boost.

This was probably the most fun I've had with a group of fellow car nuts in a long time, and that's coming from someone who admittedly isn't the most sociable person with the best people skills.

There's nothing wrong with a little escapism such as this. I sure as hell needed it but not necessarily to run away from the hair-tearing frustrations and daunting issues at home. Those will always be awaiting anyone at the end of every rainbow. But moments like these help bring you into the present. There's no dwelling on the past or worrying about the future when you have moments like these to reel into the present. I'm sure my therapist would love to hear that right about now, but I can at least add this to the list of the greatest self-prescribed medicine.

I can't imagine wanting faster cars on public roads (although, it surely wouldn't hurt).

I can't imagine wanting faster cars on public roads (although, it surely wouldn't hurt).

The final stop along my trip also brings my experience full circle with how I should better cherish all the friends I have, old and new. A thousand thanks to the hospitality of my Salt Lake City crew. It was great to reunite with some of them, and a joy to finally meet the others for the first time.

Oh, and that reminds me of another fun lesson: Internet friends can be real friends too. Thanks for convincing me to make the trek up, Gavin. See you in the next Forza match.

Until next time, you guys.

Until next time, you guys.