my friend Geoff fought The law. The law won

Way back in the olden days, a friend of mine had an Alfa GTA with a bashed in front. It was a wreck and there were many mice nesting in the interior. But under the bonnet, it had an unsilenced Ferrari Dino engine.

My friend – we will call him Geoff, because that’s his name – was hammering up the motorway on his way to, let’s say Hull, because that’s where he lived. Geoff loved cars and he loved that Alfa more than anything so he was going fast enough to attract the attention of a police patrol car. Which gave chase.

Geoff has no idea the police were trying to catch up as he turned off the motorway and really put his foot down. This caused the police to think he was making a run for it so they called for back up and helicopter gunships and God knows what else.

My friend – we will call him Geoff, because that’s his name – was hammering up the motorway on his way to, let’s say Hull, because that’s where he lived

Jeremy Clarkson

Nothing however, could be further from the truth. Geoff was loving the last bit of his late night journey home. The roads were quiet, the engine was singing and in the bends, that little Alfa was dancing beautifully.

Eventually though, Geoff reached a village where he thought it’d be sensible to slow down. So he did and to his great surprise he was swamped almost immediately by many police cars. There followed a lot of shouting and some intimate searches,

The police wanted to know why he hadn’t stopped when they turned on their blue lights. “Ah” said Geoff. That’s because the rear view mirror has come off and is in the glove box. So why, enquired Plod, after they pointed out that he’d be charged with this as well as speeding, didn’t you hear our sirens? “Ah ” said Geoff again“That’s because my silencer is broken so the exhaust is very loud”. He was done for that too.

Later in court he pleaded “emotional dependence” on his Alfa. But the magistrates were having none of it and he was banned from driving for three years.

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Comments (190)
  • Geoff is my new favourite person, until

    Hammond crashes something again at least

    2 months ago
    2 Bumps
  • I got done for 'Failure to Outrun a Police Officer' on my '72 Honda 350 Scrambler, 'round about 1980.

    2 months ago
    1 Bump

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